It's only a matter of time that I will surrender...

[CuRRent MooD:] Clueless, not feeling good

[CuRRent Song:] Lasgo - Surrender (Extended Mix)

Nothing to say find something to say.

Recently there has been many things to get myself confused. School stuff is half done I guess. My love life sucks actually, to think the least. Do I need to wait till November AGAIN?

Liked this gal, but too much confusion to date. Really irritating.

Ytd went to Orchard supposedly for some exhibition thingie - ended up the person didn't tell me the precise location and I couldn't find it -.- so I went down Lucky Plaza to help Eleen check out the prices for her phone stuff. Den walked down and look at phones, den to PS. Played 2 games of Puzzle Fighter, then went LJS makan, then played DDR MAX 2 and went home after that.

End of day? Nope.

I stepped foot into the house, hadn't had 10 mins to rest before Desy msged and asked if I can go meet her. OMG I just reached home...and I needed to work, but nevertheless I still made my way down TB to meet her and had a chat with her. Quite rare I can be out wif her that late (or is it never?). Then sent her home, walked back home from Great World cos wanna save on cab fair - as a result now I'm aching at little places (good thing I'm used to walking).

Once again, Sunshine reminded me as to why I need to be so 'mai ming'; my mom did too. She asked why I need to be so 'mai ming' (sell life - meaning to dedicate my efforts for a cause) for such things - den she bombed me the same question that Sunshine did as well "when they need you, you go and help them, den when you need them who help you? they will be ard anot?"

I ignored her and went to meet Desy.

I cannot understand myself at times. I do not understand why I do such things. Reciprocal is not guaranteed, but I do it nevertheless. Can I say I'm selfless? I can't - cos I still hope for something in return, that is, a feeling of appreciation.

I too need someone to care for me. Either the person cares, but is covered in a state of illusion, or that the person doesn't care much abt me at all, only wanting me to listen and help out. I need not be THAT good isn't it? Can I be more selfish???

I guess there's only those 2 persons who really gave a feeling of reciprocal to me. They are my mom and dad.

Eleen doesn't even say goodbye to me -.- duhx...

Hey what did I do to deserve all these? Jus becos I'm trying to be a good guy doesn't mean I need not be appreciated, or take for granted!

There are still some stuff I can't uncover in this blog of mine. Oh well, those are kept in mind.

And yea, thanks Christina for listening out though you didn't offer any of much advice at all. Oh well, I'm an advisor by myself - just need that moments of silence and brillance to see through everything.

And thx Sunshine for wanting to call me but eventually got intercepted by Eleen's distress call.

Thanks mom n dad for being by my side.

"Do not be a Dreamer in Love - for you do not know what Reality has in store."

.LuKe.