Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Just random to say the least

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Well, called up Mount E yesterday and told me consultation is $70 excluding procedures...I was like wah, if ask me go twice or more masi siao!!! I hope the referral letter does tell the doctor what to at least go once you know is do once do good...sian part will be still need go back...idiotic...

Nothing much to talk about also...just nothing to do start of my day blog lor...later doing work liao...kicking off the patches and stuff. Ok lah...I think don't talk too much more impt...


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A walk through the past? Just a passing thought...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, pondering

[CuRRent Song:] Deep Spirit - You're The One That I Want (Bass Up! Remix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Just applied oil on my reimbursement for my specialist checkup! This is so irritating. And guess where they assign me to...Mount E you know??? It is such a damn ex place lor...I also dunno what the hell to do with it...maybe I should call them up and ask the at least I'm more or less prepared...otherwise kana bo dai bo ji refer to so ex place, wat for???

Just had a walk into the past yesterday. It was a total shit feeling, I wonder why I had to walk thru it in the first place. Come to think, I think I looked for trouble and trouble came knocking on my door. Good thing it's not a serious issue and I've more or less came to terms with it...well, more or less I said.

Sometimes I wish I couldn't have cared less with my personal life with aspect to this. I would rather be a mindless money-earning machine or a mommy's boy maybe. No choice, I am what I am.


Monday, June 26, 2006

Finally last week of the month...(reflections)

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral, thinking...

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Wah...sian ah...this week gonna be yet another troublesome one. Security patches to run, things to solve, den colleague leaving...sigh, add on the fact I'm still clearing up my life, I wonder how are things really going to turn out for me.

I really think I'm quite a sucky person to be out with. Throughout my life I've been trying to be a better person, only turning out worse than what I thought of to be. I guess the best parts of my life has to be time before I'm 18, where major decisions and occurences happened. I guess if I made a different choice, my whole life would have been changed. Still again, even if I made a different choice THAT time, I would've made a similar choice later after that...because I am what I am, and something which I can't change radically.

Sometimes I tink I know what I want in life, and sometimes I think I don't. Seems contradicting eh? Life at 25 and not achieving much, it's really time for me to review my life isn't it? My eldest bro @ 25 was already married, moved out and had life decisions to make for himself. Disregarding my 2nd bro, I guess I'm really an underachiever in this aspect, not able to match up to my eldest bro.

I know my parents do not have too high expectations in me, but somehow I have an expectation of myself to provide whatever I can for them. I know they are always there for me, always ready to help me when I need it, and advise me when necessary (though I find it a nag at times, but that's normal isn't it?). I wanted a gf and wife that can take care of them, that they find comfortable. They do not have high expectations, they are simple people. You'll know it when you talk to them.

Talking abt gf, I guess I really have to rethink about myself and Sunshine. Once again we bumped onto the same issue yesterday, about myself not treating her well and stuff. No, it's not her's just about me, my expectations and stuff. Sometimes I think I do not understand myself well, sometimes I do...but I know I understood myself way too much I could not have the courage to face it. A brimming pot of evil, maybe.

I know I'm losing myself, but I will have to force myself to pick up again for my parents.

What do I want from my life, people around me and from a prospective gf/wife/partner? I think I know, but just that either I don't work for it or I do not have the courage to face it. Then again, how many would?

How many knows that changes being made will benefit or destroy their very existence? Only by trying it out would you know. It takes courage to change and accept changes.

New journey? Yes/no/maybe?


Sunday, June 25, 2006

What can I do with Life...

[CuRRent MooD:] A lil tired, a lil moody

[CuRRent Song:] Clutch - The Light (Extended Mix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] None (haven't eaten anything the whole day)

I guess I owe an apology to Sunshine for needlessly displaying acts of childishness. I guess it's hard for me as things are going thru my brain and I find it hard to act on myself with thoughts bombarding myself every now and then. Now and then it's the same things, same questions without answers, that I leave myself so puzzled I do not know an actual call of action. I really don't know what I should do next.

Coming weeks will be tough with only me and Malcolm ard (my other colleague will be his last week in GSK) so it's time to get my head (our heads to be precise) even bigger. Sigh...this can be quite a problem really.

This weekend is more or less the same, spending time at home and with Sunshine...went to Bugis wif her yesterday to walk and buy a bit of stuff...still training my SG when I can, and slept quite a lot today. Oh well...what kind of shit life am I leading...I wonder.

Till I can sort out a lot of things, till I can get myself disciplined...there's nothing too much I can do. Yeah, thanks to Serene for trying to make me feel better - she's Dan's "sister".


Thursday, June 22, 2006

Fucked up

[CuRRent MooD:] As per title

[CuRRent Song:] Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Fish Hor Fun / Sugar Cane Drink

Fucked up.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Just a short update

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] "Vege" Porridge / Plain water

Today ah..wan to see doctor also got problem..tell me cannot claim den need me pay cash! I was like WTF..den I contacted Jacee from GMP den after some clearance she say should be able to see the doctor..later I will go again..dis ear of mine really giving me quite some problems..

Jus about 2 days away from SG’s reincarnation..about time I make my last efforts to level whatever I can..though it will not be simple..anyway I’m in one of the better regiments already..hehe..

Hope morrow go back work wun be overwhelmed by workload..and hope everything goes fine at workplace..if not also no choice la..some things not within our control, but of cos when make a mistake must make sure wun happen again lor..else it’s really no one’s fault but yourself..

Really wonder when this ear of mine will be ok. Oh well..nothing too much to blog on a normal weekday, so I’ll probably leave it for some other time..or till I have things to say.


Monday, June 12, 2006

A short blog for the week

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Breadtalk Cheese + Ham bread / Grass Jelly Drink

Wah…the week was pretty tough but we did manage to grit our teeth thru it. Oh well what to do, life goes on..

On a good note, I’ve finally got my news of an increment, not too much, jus abt 10% of my total income. Sounds not bad, well beggars are not choosers so I guess I’ll just stick to it.

I’ll go update my resume later on, but I guess I have to find a way to accustom to my lifestyle and get a bit of savings and planning so I can study or at least aim for MCSA (or MCSE).

What have I done for the week? This week I am being hit by an infected ear so I can’t hear properly on the left I’m out from nightspots.


Come to think of it, apart from the fact I did not go Paradigm, I think all I did was to stay at home and SG. And of course my tiredness got on me as well.

Just got myself those UV screen protector kinda things – my actual intention was to make sure my screen does not get dirtied by random sources (fingerprints, saliva etc) but I hope it will solve the problem of reflective light sources (since my screen directly faces the window).

Time to eat =)


Monday, June 05, 2006

An update...long or short?

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, pondering

[CuRRent Song:] Melodie MC - Anyone Out There

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Egg + Fish / Pokka Green Tea

I've not updated for a week what should I write? As usual lor the weekend...


Spent morning in QR, took half day off. Went to JP, cut my hair (dis time it's quite short) and wanted to surprise Sunshine by going back early to see her...ended up she went out wif her bo bian lor, go home rest a bit den prepared myself, went down to PS to accompany my bro and play game...after that met up with Dan and co, went to Paradigm.

Another private party, but we got to know "the lonely dancer" - his name is Richard. Then got a treat from Andrew as he won jackpot, den hang ard till abt 3am walked to the MU bus stop took NR5 back home.


Rested till late afternoon, prepared myself then meet up Sunshine to go Suntec PC Show. Wah as usual, lotsa pple crowding everywhere, I thought I won't be getting anything this year but...Man Proposes, God Disposes - I ended up getting a BENQ 17" LCD monitor @ $325...with a webcam! But I gave to Sunshine though. Now look at my screen very SONG. LOL. After that met up with Alynna Jie for dinner, den Jazlyn came to meet us as well, den chat and bla bla bla...den go home play game...actually ard near morning wanna slp but Isabelle called me den asked me to call her frequently to make sure she's ok...ended up I turned in ard 7am...


Woke up ard 3, den went to Bugis and met up with Berlinda to purchase system...her rough specs:

P4 2.4a GHZ
PC Chips MoBo
512MB PC400 RAM
Combo CDRW
56K Modem

$478....noticed something missing? HDD? LOL. Cos her previous system that time HDD spoilt, so she got a new HDD. Since she dun really need a good system, so she reuse...then I saw a very attractive offerr:

+ $68 for 250GB SATA HDD

WOW!!! After asking Berlinda, she agreed I could pay the $68 and get myself the HDD. COOL!

Imagine $68 for 250GB SATA HDD...whr to find????

Brought to her place and set up everything...reached home already 12+midnight le...


BUSY DAY!!!!!!

Actually had something else to talk about...but never mind...another time...