Friday, July 29, 2005

Friday, a week closing off...

[CuRRent MooD:] A lil tired, but I realised...

[CuRRent Song:] Master Blaster - Hypnotic Tango (Megaper Remix)

...that the early slp finally did help a bit..but that is also because there is stuff to do in the morning so it occupied me...if there's things to do, I wun really feel that sleepy.

The MOE pple are supposed to be here in my school...but they have not arrived...where are they...are they even coming...*yawnz*...

Sunshine was asking me why I have not been updating my blog...well I've either been tired or busy, and I'll be playing SG at home so I dun blog so much like everyday...but I'll still blog backwards somehow...

Nothing much about Tuesday I tink. Wednesday evening Linda came to my place for dinner and she finished the comics that she was reading previously. After that I sent her back home but she didn't feel like going home so I accompanied her till...haiz, 5+am. Do you believe it? You can look at my face ytd and it tells you "I AM SO TIRED"...I lied that I dozed off while waiting for the last bus...wouldn't want my parents to have any bad impression of my friends...

Yesterday nothing much too...ok I think the MOE pple came...so I have to disappear now...

=)

.LuKe.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Rainy Tuesday

[CuRRent MooD:] Moody, boring, rainy

[CuRRent Song:] Master Blaster - Dial My Number

*Yawnz* so boring...

Slpt 4+ again..cos of Huifang dis time..she couldn't get to slp so i pei her a while..haha..also cos i slpt in evening and I couldn't get to slp, that's why..so its not entirely hers..lol..

Suddenly felt that my life is messed up...every aspect...apart from work...but even career-related I'm nowhere near anything...or am I jus worrying abt the future a lil too much? I should really tink abt the future. Berlinda actually commented something about "normal pple" already trying to make a cliche out of their lives by concentrating on their careers at my current point of time..I think somehow I'm not that kind of pple...so I'm not normal I guess..haha..

Really wretched. What's happening? Sigh. Jus a guy lamenting abt life and not doing anything abt it.

.LuKe.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Tired Monday

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, but now better

[CuRRent Song:] DJ Jerry - Jeanny 2004

*yawnz* yeah back to blogging. Actually there isn't much to say apart from tired, tired and tired.

Friday went to meet up wif Linda, den so happened my bro n my prospective future sis in law in ard. Ended up we agreed going to Mos. I was like O.o my sis in law is wif a baby and we are going Mos? I mean shouldn't she be watching herself? But well, since they said ok I really dun have too much to say. It's rather spacious on a Friday night at Mos, and Eleen was there but I did not really see her, but she did say she saw me dancing as though I've got a bout of stroke. Oh well...maybe?

My bro was tired and alcohol effect got onto him, so ended up Linda and I brought him home. Having no bus left back for Linda, I accompanied her in my area till the morning she took breakfast at the hawker centre and I walked her to the bus stop. It's like 8 when I'm back home, I woke my mom up but she said later for market, so I went to bed.

Saturday - mom woke me up 10+ and was feeling a lil groggy...nvm, forced myself up and accompanied her to market. Smsed Huifang to cancel our meetup and she told me she sprained her ankle and the badminton plans has to postpone till she gets better. Oh well. After back from market I went to bed and woke up 7+ in the evening (wif plenty of bloody disturbances in the middle of my slp), had dinner and went down PS to wait for Linda to finish work. Once again it's my bro and sis in law appearing again. Linda said she wanted to use the comp so she went over my place (which to me was a bit awkward cos it's rather late) till abt 2am I sent her back home. She still did not wan to go back, so we settled down somewhere ard her area and chatted till the morning and went to have breakfast. Sent her back and on my way home. Reached home ard 830am and bathed, played a lil SG and before I knew it, SG crashed on us. Damn it. Bed time.

Sunday...after slping for another 6 hours, I woke up at 4+. Went online and SG is still down. Yuling asked me out to Pizza Hut and off we went. By the time we finished it's nearly 7, I went back home to prepare to go PS, but before that I went upstairs and helped out the installation of WC3 on Yuling's comp. After that I went down PS to wait for Linda (yet again), this time my bro n sis in law are not ard anymore. We went walk walk (and into shops I've never gone) and I sent her home...hard to believe, but she still does not want to go back!!! Hardly believable her mind can be so sober almost without sleep for 3 days! Again, went another place in her area and slacked till nearly 4 when my mum called me and lashed at me :P so I had to go back. It's like 415am when I'm back home. WOW.

Monday. YAWNZ. Haha...that's now. Chatted wif da sao in MSN jus now. Jus like dis..hope SG is up. Hehe.

.LuKe.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Another week coming to an end

[CuRRent MooD:] ok mood (finally no giddy spell feeling for now)

[CuRRent Song:] Cascada - Bad Boy (Pulsedriver Remix)

Finally my giddy spell is gone for now, probably due to the sleep I force myself these days to have. I guess I have to watch my health for now. Ytd nite after hanging up wif Sunshine on the phone, I couldn't get myself to slp so I played my handphone game till I'm too tired. LOL.

Tonight I'll be meeting Linda and morrow I should be meeting Huifang. Who's Huifang? Oh, she's an online friend of mine for quite some time (probably like 2 or 3 years at least) and I dun tink we've ever met before. She'd given me a tee for my birthday some years back (I think it was my 22nd birthday since I tried inviting lotsa pple for that) and I can remember it till now cos I've not given her a single present for her birthday. Maybe I should get one? Hope she's not reading this else there's no surprise for her. =) lol

Damn I lost my "bet" wif Sunshine cos she said I'll certainly blog this morning. Bo bian, nothing find something to do. I can't really go lab do anything in the morning cos I'm never sure when some class will barge in and disturb my work.

Ytd told Sunshine I'm on "PMS" mood - I knew why, but it's hard to tackle it for now. I'll have to see how life decides for me as I'm rather tired to really give the decisions and do preemptive (hmmm how to spell that) planning.

Hmmm. I dreamt of myself typing this post before. LOL.

Desy called just now to discuss about her phone and the line. She'd suddenly issued an earlier request to get the line by end of the month, which is a good and bad thing cos I've incurred costs for the caller ID cancellation + reactivation, I'll actually lose out on cash. Oh well what to do. My major concern is however my M1 line as I'll need to change the plan, but wif the $200+ bill accrued from my bro's bill (under my name), somehow I don't think M1 will be so kind as to allow me to change the plan without me returning the money to them. I think I better go back home to check the total amount owed. I'm prepared to go on a large bill on the Starhub side cos of the overseas call to my sister-in-law and the MMSes, GPRS...so it may amount to $60 - $80. As for the plan suggested by my agent in PhilipCap, I dun think I can commit to it cos I dun think I can afford $150 every mth for savings plans + insurance for now.

I really can't understand why I'm so kind to my bro when he's like owing me so much money it practically screwed my life up. Blood brothers, but.......

I tink I'll be back home taking maggi mee for lunch. Gonna shrimp a bit for now, I have a week left to go before payday. Ouch.

.LuKe.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

It's Thursday!

[CuRRent MooD:] Can feel a giddy spell

[CuRRent Song:] Groove Coverage - I Need You (Project One Remix)

Nothing much...just to tell ya guys updated pics at my friendster photo album. And yea, I've not updated my story...haven't been in the "lowdown" mood enough to write...I need a low mood to access such writing moods...hahaha...dumb rite?

Yesterday's a dull day, nothing much of note..yeah. Just spotted Desy online. Haha. Oh yeah, gonna help her check her handphone stuff.

Be right back if any further updates required.

.LuKe.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Mid Lunar Year

[CuRRent MooD:] Headache, giddy spell

[CuRRent Song:] Master Blaster - Pay For Your Life

See the title? Mum told me it's Mid Lunar Year today, got to help her out in making tang yuan.

I'm so bored so here to blog. Nothing to blog also.

Ytd, bought lunch for Sunshine...

...went to Forum Shopping Mall to check out something for Amelyn, then went PS. Called Linda den she reminded me abt Friday's meetup. -.- at night play SG, saw Amelyn online and chatted for a while. Den slp.

Woke up 7am to track on Amelyn's auction, which she succesfully bidded in the end. Den play a bit of SG, came to work.

Yeah dat's about it. Had chats wif Joanna and Pam. And Simon, temp TA that came my school for tagging.

Still had my giddy spell. Slept earlier than usual, I still have the same problem. Hmmm.

Came to wonder, a sudden rush of female names in my blog? That sounds good, no? No. Of cos not. I prefer to mention only a special girl in my life I guess...which fate seemingly have not revealed to me yet.

Updates to add on if any.

.LuKe.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Cooling rainy Tuesday

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, headache...but satisfied

[CuRRent Song:] Astrada - Just Another Day (Club Mix)

Yesterday went to see Sunshine a while, den back to school to do stuff. Now it reminded me to update my progress...

Nvm, I'll do it later. I reached home ard 6pm after my "dinner" and played SG till 8+ ard 9+ I guess. I was not feeling very well but I caught someone online on MSN - Amelyn, of cos not to mention Eleen who wants to get her blog song done. If I did not remember wrongly, Amelyn's nick was "Amelyn - ... (I can't explain)" so I was a bit curious and made small conversation with her. What turned out "small" became a bigger thing as I went into the familiar counsellor/advisor role and we chatted till 12+! OMG...I had to suppress my stupid headache just for that. Also helped her check her Evo stuff. Anyway has places to find diecast Evo models?

I wonder if I chatted her up correctly because her situation reminded me of something. They (her ex and her) reminded me ABSOLUTELY of the situation between Shan and I 2 years back. It was unbelievable, everything seemed the SAME!!! Whatever she told me, about that guy, I guarantee I pasted my entire situation to match both at the same time. Somehow I got the situation in mind cos how that guy is dealing wif the situation is the same for me 2 years back! Bearing this in mind, I had to tell Amelyn what he could have been thinking. Maybe it wun be the same, but somehow I believe it's similar although it seems uncannily strange how close jus both situations are. It is weird. Life's strange, isn't it?

I've known that whichever guy after me who got Shan will be a lucky guy. I knew it, but I gave her up. I hope her guy won't be THAT stupid to give her up, but being putting my mindset of 2 years ago into him, I won't be surprised if he won't be noticing that fact and forgo her. Only when he lose it..he will realise it..but he won't be able to do anything..and will be way too late when he finally knows what he wants. Same situation, I believe anyone who tries to attempt and succeed wif Amelyn after this guy will still be lucky...but it depends. No two personalities are same, therefore I doubt I can conclude everything in this manner...but being using my instincts, I firmly believe this will be so. Unless an angel came along to knock that guy cold and sober, the process will probably be irreversible. Scary.

It's like 2 mounds from the same cast. Apart from different constellations, everything seem the same...that being the case, why would it be similar? Amelyn and Shan both had water signs (Cancer and Scorpio respectively), but that guy's Virgo (earth) while I'm Piscean (water). To tink, I went to check the charts and stated Virgo and Cancer doesn't work very well. That aside, you can't deduce anything from Star Signs cos water signs suppose to complement each other but guess what, I still gave Shan up. I guess there's a difference between compatibility and how it ends up in the end. When I asked Amelyn why the r/s failed, she said probably cos she's possessive. OMG that sounded like the younger Shan. I linked the age. UNCANNINESS!!! OMG!!! How could it be that close?? But Shan was younger the time I knew her. Guess it's life that it's built in such a way.

Just interesting I thought. May everything be as planned, as progressed. Everything will go as planned, how it is planned by The Almighty.

.LuKe.

Monday, July 18, 2005

So fast...a week gone

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] Fantasy Project - Fall In Love (DJ Delta Remix)

Didn't expect myself to not update for a week...for those who read my blog, sorry~ =)

[UPDATE START]

This is a cool site to go...

Murphy's Laws

[UPDATE END]

12/07

Work was busy, sci block card access down due to previous day power trip, had the access card pple down to troubleshoot. What I thought was a while took hours and I was late for my appointment wif my agent (the other one at Philip Capital). The office shifted to ParkView Square, the "Final Fantasy" lookalike kinda building found in Bugis...lol...quite nice to say the least. Den after that went to Bugis Arcade to walk a bit...went back home...

13/07

Noon time had lunch wif LSX pple over at Rajah Inn, Tiong Bahru Plaza. In total we had 11 of us, which is quite a surprise considering it's a weekday. Made some small talk and went to Orchard after that, den went to play pool. I left after a while back to school, den went to Ms Tang's place after work to check out her computer. Turned out the monitor konked out, had to change another. After finishing the work, she invited me for dinner over at an eating place over at Bukit Timah area. Went back home wif courtesy of her fren's transport (a big black Benz) and played game at home. Soon to realise my stupid spell came back at 3am...

14/07

Woke up wif a bloody headache and giddiness, went to school. Find that I really can't tahan but I knew if I go back home I'll be questioned and scolded by my mum...den Sunshine volunteered her place to sort of take care of me...thanks...=) it was a good rest, she bought lunch for me (which I've not paid yet...) den I continued resting...went back home at night after I accompanied her for her service...den went home as usual...rest early but woke up 1+...den played game till 3am...den slpt again.

15/07

Already agreed to meet up wif Desy to meet her bf as well, Isabelle msged me midday and asked me if I'm free to watch A Lot Like Love with her. The day turned out I met up wif Desy in the evening at her bf's working place (eat Viet food) den chat a bit, den went to Bugis to shop. Bumped onto Patricia, den we continued walking a bit ard den went to Mos Burger and settled down there. Makan makan, den her bf sent her home while I went to arcade to meet Isabelle. We took a cab down to Cineleisure, but we missed the 2340 slot...fortunately there's still a 0200 slot and we took it. Come to think, there were quite some pple watching that slot. After that I sent her back home in a cab and I took the same cab home...I spent about $80 on this night alone. OUCH!!!

16/07

0755. Phone rang. Damnit. Who? Mr Yap. What? Principal PC cannot use Lotus Notes? DAMNIT. Dragged myself down to school. FORGOT bring ACCESS CARD. Never mind...den try to find out problem...can't grab IP. Checked 2 other PCs, same problem. Went to reset switches, same. Went up server to reset, same. Check and check, no difference. Oh man. Called Thiam Lee. He said "oh I'll tell CC"...den the end it's not my side of the problem, it's CC. DAMN. Wake me up to give me a problem I can't directly solve!

Reached home abt 10am, find that cannot slp cos noon time need to meet up wif "Most Interesting Boring Man" (MIBM) - Dr Chee (WeiTeck). Met up at some new eating place (Pepperlunch) at Taka basement...spent $14. DAMNIT. Hang ard in Orchard, went to Ya Kun at Far East Plaza...den chat there. Then I went down Plaza Singapura, along the way checking out phone prices for my bro n dad.

Reach PS was soooooooo bored...too early......hang out dere super long time, den bumped onto my brother. Went to makan, den Action City, and Carrefour. After that went back arcade a while, den at 2120 I wanted to go home. When I was at bus stop, I received Linda's msg asking me to call her at 2230. Ok...I decided to stay back at Plaza Sing. Called her at that time, den she said she going to find her sister. I escorted her dere (the Selegie soya place) den met up her frens, den chat a while den they ask wanna go chiong. Hmmm. Looked at myself..ok la, still can go chiong la. Then went to Madam Wong to chiong lor...over there is RnB and Retro dance hits..so the latter wasn't so bad. Linda quite suay la cos she is techno mainstream...but she was a lil better after some drinks, den she suggested going MOS. Reached MOS, but found out her sis and fren's IC wif another fren who had went home. So no entry to MOS, den we jus went back home.

18/07

Woke up 2pm...played SG a while..den went out for makan...Ben n Kaiwei wanted to meet at Bugis, turned out the time I reached there they already gone to KK area...STUPID rite??? Den bo bian I hang ard Bugis area..wait and wait..the end they also didn't appear, den I walked to PS. Met up wif Linda and her fren, hang ard at Mac a while den I sent her back home.

Yeah..jus like dis lor...Linda's giving me a strange feeling. Better not be THAT feeling. Haiz.

.LuKe.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Monday's the Blue?

[CuRRent MooD:] Blue? Yellow? Green?

[CuRRent Song:] Fantasy Project - Never Stop

Gonna go check where I've last stopped. From what I know it's tagging day in my school, hopefully it does not interrupt me too much...lol.

I'm still trying to shake off some weaknesses of mine, albeit not really successful...maybe I'll not be able to rid it after all...

Ytd...lemme tink...what time did I wake up? Oh wait, the previous entry ended on the sunday morning. If I did not remember wrongly, I went to PS on Sunday...yeah I tink so. Went dere to chill out, den went home wif Sunshine.

Yes, one thing. Even though I mention about Sunshine in my entry, please, for those who are my friends and are reading my blog, DO NOT MAKE A MENTION OF THIS NICK IN FRONT OF ME. I AM GETTING IRRITATED BY IT. Eleen did refrain and I appreciated her effort...I realised another fren of mine who followed her, so please, refrain from doing so unless you wan to see me blow up in front of you...which is certainly something you wun want to see judging from the amt of shit I face nowadays. You might jus be in my unfortunate target list for my 200% temper outburst. Desy almost was dere, and I'm sorry somehow I got Belle implicated too. Sorry...but these days really suck, and being good doesn't help cos no one will be good to you...even if someone will be good to me, it will never be enough because I certain do need a hell lot of love and concern. I guess this will be those moments which any girl can jus make me touched by any kind and concerned gestures - TAKERS ANYONE??? LOL!!!!!!

Ok enough crap. Hehe now is Fantasy Project's Somebody. Anyway...woke up Monday morning (uh...noon actually) at ard 12 something close to 1pm. Yes, I'm on leave -.- haha cos I had to accompany my mom down to the doctor at NUH. Arrived at 230pm and when everything ended it was 6pm -.- damnit...wasted so much time...reached home played SG...den went to meet Sunshine a while outside and yeah, that's my day.

Sometimes I have this stupid thinking that I'm a girl inside a guy's body (don't worry, I'm still 100% straight and a guy)...hahaha...well, Eleen's trying to tell me I'm a girl -.- hahhaa you can try harder. LOL...haiz.........stupid days, stupid weeks.....when is all these going to end? So much crap!!!

More updates will be back here if any.

.LuKe.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Jus back from...?

[CuRRent MooD:] A lil tired, but still awake

[CuRRent Song:] Spring Break - Shut Up! (Deepforces Remix)

To continue from my title, I jus came back from ChinaBlack as they celebrated their 4th anniversary they had free admission into their premise on sat nite. Went wif Pam and Carnage (Dom) and stayed dere for a few hours. Jus a rough outline...

Woke up 630pm after back from market wif mum in morning and slept...den prepared myself to go Orchard meet up wif Darkwolf and Axis (LSX). Then went over to Pacific Plaza to queue for the entry to ChinaBlack as Carnage and Pam were slightly late. Went in ard 945pm, look here and dere, walked here and there, den Pam introed her frens...den we went over dance floor ard 11...bought a bottle of Absolut Vodka, then shared...den hang ard till like 12 started dancing (time not accurate...cos we rarely checked time)...till 1+ we stopped...den went out and meet Joe (LSX)...den walked down the foodplace beside Meridian...den near 3 went back...by the time I reached home it's nearly 4. Now chatting wif Pam online.

Nothing much to say already I guess...haha...Friday nite was out wif Desy...and Hikki...did I blog on that? Hmmm...go check. Nope I didn't. Pam's offline. Ok...met both of them ard...6 something I tink...went shopping wif them in Far East Plaza and The Heeren...nothing really much...but it was ok and fun nevertheless since I rarely had time out wif Desy.

Off to do wif other stuff. =)

.LuKe.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Friday! Woke up early..to school!

[CuRRent MooD:] A lil tired on eyes, but average on mood

[CuRRent Song:] Fantasy Project - Crazy Baby

Yesterday went PS...yeah that's all. Haha. :P stupid update eh??? Well I happen to somehow see Jeannie (Chocobits) and called to say hi =)

Chatted wif Joanna in the late afternoon and also at night, trying to help her wif her horrendous blogskin (it's not her fault; the coding is way too messy)...now, come to think, I must complete Belle's skin right after Joanna's else I tink the former will come and kill me soon enough...:P

Also went to Mad's place to check out my camera...Corrie did not pass her the transfer cable, how to transfer the pics to the comp? Strange person. LOl.

Should be meeting Hikki and Desy later in the evening.

Joined a rather serious regiment in SG. They even support TeamSpeak! OMG imagine real time chat in the battle - serious gaming!

Anything else? Bro's issue is almost a week already, and the family is taxed for a week. Ouch.

Oh yeah, my eldest bro went back to Shanghai. Gonna miss him. =) it took a while to adjust myself to him, but it's good to have him around in the house as company.

Updates to come.

[Updates - 4:14PM]

Completed Joanna's blogskin, waiting for her to get from me. I should be leaving early today since I'll be meeting Desy n Hikki later. Happen to be chatting now wif Pat...=)

.LuKe.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Diving?

[CuRRent MooD:] Diving downwards, wondering why

[CuRRent Song:] Valentina - Mr Lover

Even though bro's issue is very much cooled down, but it's not the end yet. I believe within this year there will be lots of changes, and hopefully they are the good ones. I hope very much that this thing between them will make my bro work so much harder in life. Then again, I really wonder when I can ever get my money back...sigh...

There's almost a downtime for me every year, and I think this is the one this time round. It's a time whereby my mind gets occupied by lots of stuff that I can't sort out properly and needs a great deal of inspiration and sight to get myself out of it. Many times I wish it will be someone who will bring me out of it, but so far it has been myself. Maybe in life I wished for a fairytale to happen as well? Of what naivety, Luke? It has been weary, and I think it will be made worse with time. At least I have a small diversion of thoughts with SG, but that wun last. A matter of the heart won't be deterred by a mere online game.

It's time I need some support. I've been doing my best to offer whatever support I can to others, but deep in me I need support too. I dunno how to explain it I guess...but that's jus how it is. Probably Sunshine might be trying to, but due to what had happened between us, it makes the situation way tougher to me. I have to acknowledge that Eleen in some ways made me think a little beyond even though she did nothing to mention anything or to advise me against anything at all. In fact, it's the mere mention from her that made me think, so how does that make a thinking mind? LOL...

I wonder if I can list my stacked worries? Hehe...

1) 2nd Brother and his GF
2) Family (Mum)
3) God-Daughter

Things hovering in my mind...

1) Sunshine
2) Eleen
3) Mad
4) Amelyn (I'm certain I should have seen her somewhere)
5) Finance
6) Sucky Love Life
7) Outstanding computer maintenance jobs (aka help my friends to repair their comp)
8) Low time of life this year
9) Win2K Migration

All these are not in order of importance or preference, but certainly will stay in my mind for some while I guess. I'm worried that bro's incidence will affect the family in more ways than one, I'm worried that mum will not be able to take it after so mcuh stuff are happening and her health has not been really improving much especially with the happening. Of cos, my god-daughter is a worry too as she has been asking me stuff recently that got me worried and thinking about her. Well she's 19 soon and I shouldn't be worrying like this, but to me she is always like 2 years younger than her actual age. The maturity has not set in yet, it's not completely defined in her. And yeah, why Zouk? She told me she wanted to go Zouk on friday, which means I'll be going into that place without disapproval. And I was thinking that perhaps I will be able to avoid that place all my life...hahahah....

For those things hovering in my mind, it's jus nudging issues and being in category of hovering thoughts and not exactly 100% worries; however they will be time and again, stepping in and out of the worries side and hovering. Made me think why I think so much. Haha...if I do not think so much, I think I do not match to my Piscean nature.

.LuKe.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Family now like Channel 8

[CuRRent MooD:] Stupidified

[CuRRent Song:] Sylver - Take Me Back (Radio Edit)

As you can read from the title, my family now really is like Channel 8 drama like dat...full of shit and stuff. Now I heard my bro wun be marrying not cos he dun wan, is cos he probably can't support the family and the female side wun allow. Oh well, I dun really wanna care...apart from the fact of losing the dream of having my own room...:P

Yesterday I went over CPF Board over at Tanjong Pagar area to pass the gift. I did not pass to her directly but instead to her colleague since she's working and I wouldn't wan to disturb her in any sense (let alone giving a strange surprise to go wif it). She replied me like 4 hours later, saying that she liked the present. Well, that's good. I know some of you might wonder I must have a motive for doing so...well of course I do. Haha...don't you tink bringing happiness is a good thing? Of cos, I dun mind if I can make a fren wif this attempt...:P but then this one is another matter already...

Mic's abt to start school soon and she seemed pretty concerned. Hehe dun worry so much...at least u got chance to study unlike me...I wanna take degree also got problem...family also like dat...really headache...finances really tight...I hope I can survive this month without utilising any money from mum...

My comp gave me a scare yesterday night with nv4_disp problem, a crash normally associated with graphical side. Tried to log in normal 3 times and crashed without fail within 5 mins. Went into safe mood (network support enabled), went online to download latest nvidia drivers and installed. Went back normal, crashed again. Took out graphic card and cleaned the fingers..den put back. Crash again. Went into safe mode, removed graphics drivers, and reinstall them. Finally it worked. WHEW.

Looking at how it is, life seem to be a mess, everything not picking up properly the way I want it to be. Love life sucked totally, I'm really getting tired. Actually I wouldn't be thinking this much if not for Eleen's "gentle" reminder wif the stupid "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" humming. It gets on me, I jus wouldn't want to flare on Eleen for no apparent reason. I hope Eleen reads this and stop that nonsense. There's a limit to everything including my limited patience.

Suddenly I just wished I'm a total money-minded person wif 101% practicality. Unfortunately, I'm a Piscean.

.LuKe.

Monday, July 04, 2005

...Monday...

[CuRRent MooD:] A little tired, but still awake

[CuRRent Song:] Nebula - Sea Angel

Oh well the item is ready, waiting to see what happens tomorrow. I'm on half day leave tomorrow jus for this, I guess sometimes I can really be stupid without myself knowing why. Hope the receipient will like it...

Wow...my bro's issue got the family on alert mode...really dunno what to say...just hope everything will tide over very soon...it's very taxing on the family...really dunno what to say abt him (or them)...completely screwed up the family once more...making everyone worried and exhausted.

No more super shocks please. I have seen drama on my bro's side and would not want to see more drama dis way.

.LuKe.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Life's turning strange

[CuRRent MooD:] Strange. A little irritated

[CuRRent Song:] Elissa - I Dream

Well, bro's matter really got the whole family affected. Today my parents and my brothers went to the meetup session with the female side...(good thing I didn't attend) and they are all having different feelings about it. Jus listening from my mum made me feel as though it's doomed from the start.

Love is important, but you can't live wif love alone without bread.

It's just about time I realised that and has to do something about it. I won't know when my true love will appear, but I hope I won't get caught extremely off-guard wif regards to finance when She eventually appears.

Everything's a mess. Family. Love life. Finance. Work is ok, fortunately (for now)...but end of month will be server migration which will be a tough thing to work on.

Things now are spoiling my mood. I better start preparing for the "happiness plan" soon before my mood plunges further. The item is already in my house and I'm glad, but things are left to be done. I tink I'll continue doing so morrow. Life is tough, but things can be made tougher without us realising it.

Went out wif Sunshine today, and I was very very tired. Bought myself a Tee, a shirt and a pair of jeans - I guess that's abt all it for this year's GSS. It's great to have spending power and buying things for myself. I realise I should not spend so much but my wardrobe desperately needs something new and flattering on myself I think. =)

I only hope people will appreciate what I do for them. And may people appreciate my presence for them.

.LuKe.

Sudden Loss

[CuRRent MooD:] Moody

[CuRRent Song:] Background Music for Shattered Galaxy

All of a sudden, I sense a kind of loss. I wonder if people will appreciate what I do for them. I wonder what people think of me at times. I hope everything goes well.

.LuKe.