[CuRRent MooD:] Averaged. Decided. Resolute.
[CuRRent Song:] Lunar: Eternal Blue - Lucia's Theme
After what happened yesterday, yes it did bring me some unhappiness, but after all it was HER who brought it upon herself. Of cos, I started thinking of a dumb theory that holds rather true: If you're a good guy, you probably can't get the girl that you want that easily.
Reality's strange. Fate is strange. I guess I'm still not that "bad" yet, therefore getting the girl that I want is simply way too difficult. A saying goes like "nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai" (if a guy is not bad/mean, a girl wouldn't like) - I think it holds pretty true. I'm better than that guy in most cases, I don't see why she would left me the other time for other guys who are not any better than me in nature. I may be a lil BHB on dis matter to say I'm "not bad", but I certainly believe there are much worse guys out dere, and I've seen more of them. *shrugs*
If she is pregnant, let it be. What's done is done, we can't say anything else apart from letting her decide what to do and how to go about doing it. It seems strange to say the least, a bit irritated and disappointed maybe about what she did, but it's her decision, her choice. She broke a principle of hers, that's how it is. I've learnt in life that if you break an impt principle of your life, you will start breaking more and more abyssmal stuff will come your way which will throw you off your path. I've seen it myself, my brother agrees with me, and I believe some of you will know it when IT comes. You need not agree with me now if it never happened, cos when it happens, you will open your mouth wide and ask "why is Luke so accurate???"? Because I've been thru it.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT THE FATHER OF THE CHILD, OH PLEASE!!!
Sometimes I wish I'm less emotional, more logical. It seems I can't. I'm making similar mistakes time to time, and memories come to haunt me. It was pretty bad of me to ask Sunshine the stupid question again yesterday, but I guess I'm being rather insecure. I really think Sunshine was right not to accept me at all. I'm nowhere there, though I can probably commit and stuff. There is still loads of shit for me to pick up.
So I'm still single. Haha. Hikki left me a testimonial in Friendster saying as though I'm really that good. So what's so good about me? Anyone care to share? If I follow my abovementioned theory, maybe I should be worse so I will have a partner soon. "Hey Luke, why are you so in a rush to get attached?" - hmmm I dunno why too. *shrugs*
Gonna go Ben's Aunt's place later. Strangeness.
Yours,
LuKe
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