"Tell me I got over everything and it's a lie"

[CuRRent MooD:] Thinking

[CuRRent Song:] 周华健 - 旧伤心痕

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Otah + Egg / (about to be) Yakult

Probably the topic headline will cover a lot of people this time round. Somehow the walk of life from last year till now has made me notice that the love mood of my circle is not an optimistic bed of roses but instead consisting of so much remnants of the past. As I myself am writing, I can think of people who fit the bill of the topic, which is the following statement:

"Tell me I got over everything and it's a lie."

Personally there has been more than a single event/happening/relationship that I've not been able to get over with, and things had been piling up. Ivan's advice had been pretty helpful to make sure I stay in shape and not to collapse under all these crap shitload of life's happenings, but I guess every day and every night for as long I have a single moment of peace, such things will come back to me.

OUCH. Just when I looked back at the profile and thinking that it's all just my thinking that I'm being overly possessive, unforgiving, being a shallow person...I am just dealt yet another blow.

Sorry, back to where I was...damnit. The feeling in me goes beyond that sourness of my Yakult or even the Dough Yogurt thingie that both Orange and I took @ the Persian restaurant...fuck it. I have not got over it, yes I know, I wanted to continue living through half a life of deception and deceit, but guess maybe half of the truth would've attacked me by now. A gazillion of advice had came to me to drop it, but it wouldn't have been the Luke you pple know should I had just heeded that advice. It's really painful now, but life goes on.

Anyway......this sentence also applied to one lovely lady that came to my life not too long ago, but she stayed within. Things were not meant to be, everything is wrong from the start...but somehow the love and feelings we have for each other stayed on...it's wrong, but where emotions are concerned...somehow the wrong feeling just seemed right. As of now many things might've cooled (of course we discovered something new that made us hysterical), but I believe somehow no matter how wrong it is, our feelings still remained. More than once she indicated this very meaning to me:

"Tell me I got over everything and it's a lie..."

As of current stand I thought of 2 more persons...however, due to the immediate hurt I am getting now, I am unable to make the stand for one of them as she had greatly shaken my vote of confidence in her. On what grounds, now I start to understand a lot of things...and why people around her will feel that way...and why I simply wasn't even in a correct position to make much changes. If this lady knows that I am talking about her...I really hope that if everything I see or felt is correct, you would have NOT been the target of my topic and that you have found a happier life beyond your past and beyond me. You could've missed my messages, my calls, or even removed my picture......but words, your words and mine - could it had been erased in the movement of time? Current circumstances state that I don't have proper processing abilities for this one.

The other lady...well, it's really limited guessing. This lady happens to be a reader of my blog, but I know very little of her life. It's not difficult to get trapped in time, so probably she might still be stuck in the "tell me I got over everything and it's a lie" thing...I pray that she will get a new lease of life and not get stuck in the past...about what it was good, great, beautiful and lovely - we have to move on. If "He" is unable to give you an answer, a good and straightforward answer...then you have to give him the answer. "He" is not going to dictate your life - you are. You have every right to get your own happiness, and happiness does not only lie on his side of the court. You have the very right to take your tennis racquet and move to another court suitable for your style of play.

For the ladies who know me and asked me for opinions, they know that I exercise "Girl Power" theory for them, on contrary to what some people might think that I will just casually persuade them to "forget it". Some men just meant to be punished and awaken, the best way to do so is to prove that you have led a life better than the time you had with them. For one of my ex-gf, she is now together with some cannot-make-it freak that will simply reset her self-confidence to zero. She is not happy, but she does not know how to get over matters. Guess what, I told her off and gave her concise directions on the way to get her share of happiness...come to think, I should check on her progress soon.

Hey lady, you know I'm talking about You? Haha! Just do it - I will be here motivating you.

Ok off the topic time - caught a movie with Orange last night - Babel. Another good show with Orange, I guess we're lucky catching all the good shows in each other's presence to the extend she said she'll catch all the shows with me cos the movies we caught were good! LOL - well I count all my fair share of critics - thanks for those who suggested the good movies to me beforehand! HAHA!

The next show I'll probably be catching, though it may not be "good" but should be a no-brainer - Jack Neo's "Just Follow Law"...support Local Films!!!

.LuKe.

P/S Somehow the pain subsided a little. Maybe...maybe I will get over it. Haha...