Diving?

[CuRRent MooD:] Diving downwards, wondering why

[CuRRent Song:] Valentina - Mr Lover

Even though bro's issue is very much cooled down, but it's not the end yet. I believe within this year there will be lots of changes, and hopefully they are the good ones. I hope very much that this thing between them will make my bro work so much harder in life. Then again, I really wonder when I can ever get my money back...sigh...

There's almost a downtime for me every year, and I think this is the one this time round. It's a time whereby my mind gets occupied by lots of stuff that I can't sort out properly and needs a great deal of inspiration and sight to get myself out of it. Many times I wish it will be someone who will bring me out of it, but so far it has been myself. Maybe in life I wished for a fairytale to happen as well? Of what naivety, Luke? It has been weary, and I think it will be made worse with time. At least I have a small diversion of thoughts with SG, but that wun last. A matter of the heart won't be deterred by a mere online game.

It's time I need some support. I've been doing my best to offer whatever support I can to others, but deep in me I need support too. I dunno how to explain it I guess...but that's jus how it is. Probably Sunshine might be trying to, but due to what had happened between us, it makes the situation way tougher to me. I have to acknowledge that Eleen in some ways made me think a little beyond even though she did nothing to mention anything or to advise me against anything at all. In fact, it's the mere mention from her that made me think, so how does that make a thinking mind? LOL...

I wonder if I can list my stacked worries? Hehe...

1) 2nd Brother and his GF
2) Family (Mum)
3) God-Daughter

Things hovering in my mind...

1) Sunshine
2) Eleen
3) Mad
4) Amelyn (I'm certain I should have seen her somewhere)
5) Finance
6) Sucky Love Life
7) Outstanding computer maintenance jobs (aka help my friends to repair their comp)
8) Low time of life this year
9) Win2K Migration

All these are not in order of importance or preference, but certainly will stay in my mind for some while I guess. I'm worried that bro's incidence will affect the family in more ways than one, I'm worried that mum will not be able to take it after so mcuh stuff are happening and her health has not been really improving much especially with the happening. Of cos, my god-daughter is a worry too as she has been asking me stuff recently that got me worried and thinking about her. Well she's 19 soon and I shouldn't be worrying like this, but to me she is always like 2 years younger than her actual age. The maturity has not set in yet, it's not completely defined in her. And yeah, why Zouk? She told me she wanted to go Zouk on friday, which means I'll be going into that place without disapproval. And I was thinking that perhaps I will be able to avoid that place all my life...hahahah....

For those things hovering in my mind, it's jus nudging issues and being in category of hovering thoughts and not exactly 100% worries; however they will be time and again, stepping in and out of the worries side and hovering. Made me think why I think so much. Haha...if I do not think so much, I think I do not match to my Piscean nature.

.LuKe.