[CuRRent MooD:] Lil tired
[CuRRent Song:] BoA - First Snow
[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Fish / Plain Water
Actually it's vice versa but just thought of talking about the happy stuff before touching the not so happy ones.
Just now I went to Mac with my neighbours, then I happened to bump onto my Primary school friend who jio-ed another Primary school fren out to have a chat. Even though I do not understand too much of the people which they were talking about (after all, they were on similar tracks in life - the JC route), I felt the kind of feeling being with old friends just cos they were my Primary school frens. It's really cool chatting random stuff, associating with their own kind of excitement and enthusiasm towards different thigns yet maintaining my own individual stand. Really cool.
Upon thinking about stuff these days, the anti-idea came to mind today - about two of my close ones leaving the country probably - but they never visit my blog so I doubt they will really notice how I feel.
One is my Alynna Jie and the other, my Desy daughter.
Alynna is going back to Australia a few months down the road, and although I do not display too much, no one really understands (neither do I) why I was so happy with her stay in Singapore. There was simply a small sense of loss and worry while she's away in Aussieland, and upon hearing of news she's back I was all so happy and enthusiastic meeting her, often just trying to make up and forgo many other stuff for her. Knowing of her going back Aussieland brings me some pain deep in me, which I wonder why. I'll always support Jie's endeavours in work and life, and though I can't bear to see her back in Australia, I'll have to support her.
Desy is Indonesian, so no doubt she will be back there...from what I've heard, it should be in the coming months, maybe just a few months after Jie goes back to Aussie. I don't think I can accomodate too much of having my 2 close ones being a distance away from me, especially for Desy's case that she won't be back in Singapore anytime soon (and possibly never). It's strange how I started out having a liking for her but ended up in the current state.
Sometimes I wonder why all these happens, why life works out this way for me. Maybe it's just another trial for me to think of ways to make myself able to fend myself without dedicating my feelings and love for others, and just redirect it back to myself, my life and those who really needs it. I really wished there's some way out of such mess.
After all these, I will be left with Berlinda, Patricia and Michelle. Frankly speaking, I held many different feelings and approaches towards these ladies in my life...I'll probably mention in another blog entry when I have the time.
Till then people.
.LuKe.
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