Another super entry

[CuRRent MooD:] Confused

[CuRRent Song:] Dave Rodgers - Let's Go To The Show (K2 The AutoMesse)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] N.A.

Written on Friday, 10th Feb.

Haha, another blog entry outside my home as I brought my notebook outside my company and moving about. Right now I’m on my way to hotspot..haha as usual on a Friday right? I wonder what is “as usual” btw.

In front of me is a couple, an NHSS couple. LOL maybe ain’t couple yet but can tell they are pretty close I guess. It always makes me pay a bit more attention if the other party comes from my Alma Mater. Oh, jus spotted the guy trying to tilt his head on the gal’s shoulder…accident, maybe?

OMG, stop that snooping business Luke. What business is it of yours to be checking out other people’s private matters…do you like some other people to be looking at you while you are enjoying your day out with your gf?

Hmmm. Darn I’m talking to myself.

Work was busy this week, and today is a relief compared to the rest of the week. This job made me tougher I guess, and certainly made me learn so much more. I feel so much more enriched while I’m in this current project of mine.

I’ve thought of a few new stupid stuff to do, like setting up a webbie, a system, whatever…just another stupid random 3-minute heat kinda matter. Wanna have some online system that can let people order food online and have it catered to their homes…like Pizza Hut “zi-cha” style. I thought of it as I went Candy’s (my colleague) place to set up the wireless network and she ordered “zi-cha” from the coffeeshop though phone…and they bring it up for you once your order exceeds 8 bucks! I think it is a possible industry to work on, after all, who doesn’t need to eat?

Yeah hug and hug…oh no there goes myself glancing at another couple hugging each other at the doorstep of the train. So what’s going on with me? I think I have a screw loose or something. And the guy…oh my, dunno look a bit like those butch kind…but I firmly believe is still a guy la.

Gonna sleep my notebook for a while I guess…cos reaching Raffles Place and need to change to North-South line. Ok BRB.

Now eating KFC and blogging, how power can I get? Haha BRB.

Back after eating KFC. Think I will be down MU for a while later, finish up the Chivas from last week. Yes, I know part of it belongs to Linda but I couldn’t care less at all. Bad of me? Maybe.

So what’s up for Valentine’s Day? Frankly speaking I’ve not felt so much of a loss since God knows when…for the past years I’ve not been really celebrating V-Day, so a lot of my ideas would’ve dried up. Sometimes I wonder what happened to me…I used to be so full of ideas, so anticipative of this special day of the year…but look what happened to me.

Somehow, I felt desensitised. I dunno why that’s the case, but certainly I can feel it.

Sunshine and I had a fair share of arguments, but it seems we’ve never quarrelled before. Is that a good thing? Nowadays I do not know what I want…or maybe I know what I want, only that……

What? I guess only I myself knows what I am about. A lot of times it’s not that I do not understand myself, but instead I do know a great deal about myself…perhaps a bit too much at times that I chose to avoid looking at myself with that kind of light. Currently living a life of contradiction, I really am finding a true self that I seek. Sometimes I really wish I can go back ten years in time when so much is still in true nature, when things are still slow and the mind is rather clear but unachieving.

A KFC crew caught a cold.

I’m digressing.

A babe with a cool-looking guy.

I’m so out of topic really.

Looking outside, just what’s on with me? People going up the escalator, moving towards their destination. Shouldn’t I just follow them and move out of my current status, leaving only a carcass of my life? Noise just left me, moving towards the direction which they so please.

I see my life go past me. I see life in the eyes of mine. If I can assume the very image which people thought of what I am, I think that will be brilliant. Wait, ain’t that part of my past – living for others, in the eyes of others? Perhaps…those times are so much more peaceful, thinking about others and not about myself.

Come to realise that I’ve grown so much more selfish. I care only for myself much more than what I am years ago. When have I learnt to be like this?

An average cute-looking girl walks along with her boyfriend, sitting down at a corner of the restaurant. Look blissful. She’s smiling, cos her guy cares so much about her.

I felt so tired all of a sudden. Physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally desensitised. Lustfully unmatched, unsatisfied.

Yes, you did not see that wrongly, that’s just a side of me that much people either do not know or not care about it at all.

Some time back, I wrote “Love’s not the game for me”, a song that I’ve not conjured the exact tune yet. Masterfully done, Love’s really not the game for me because Love played me out.

Another female reside the table next to mine. Let me anticipate that a guy will come along with food and perhaps a smile. She is SMSing right now.

As you see, I’m doing a lot of irritating things like getting out of topic and losing focus. Truth is, I chose to do so. I guess this will be a spacy and probably lengthy entry, but what do you expect of someone who have not blogged a week, or probably only do so once a week nowadays? I guess I’ll do complaining and ranting this much, so much. Hahaha.

I wanted to stretch my arms but now I can’t cos of the lady’s existence. Talk about restrictions. Speaking of that, my past has a lot of restrictions, I limit myself a lot so I won’t go out of hand…but it seems life has progressed so much that those restrictions gave way and my life went really out of hand compared to the old times.

I shall stop here. I shall write down the lyrics of Siria’s I Will Believe It.

I Will Believe It by Siria

(I will believe it)
(I will believe it)

It’s over boy
Everyone can tell
No need to hide it from your friends
It’s sad but it’s true
You got yourself to blame
And you will never understand

Don’t try to talk me into it again

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise this is goodbye

This is goodbye

Let’s face it boy
It wasn’t meant to be
You and me, don’t you understand?

Don’t try to talk me into it again

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise this is goodbye

Last note: life really twists right in front of me, unlike my expectations. In the end, the gal went to buy KFC with the guy just joining the table as she was buying food. She came back the table with the food, and that’s it. I felt a wall between them – is it they ain’t a couple, or they were a couple? The girl sits in defensive, but could tell she is paying attention to the guy. The guy is in open position, so it seems he has confidence in the situation.

This girl just needs the love she wants. Lord, let her have it. :)

.LuKe.