Weird Christmas

[CuRRent MooD:] Weird, tired, lil moody

[CuRRent Song:] DJ Tricky - The Riddle (Sven R-G vs Bass-T Remix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] "Mei Cai" + Curry Chicken + Rice

Slept from 9am - 5pm, but still feeling lethagic. Oh well. Anyway pple, Merry Christmas...

To what I understand, a lot of people around me ain't getting what people namely speaks of a "Merry Christmas". How would you be merry when you have so much to think about, to worry of, to be of true concern? I wonder. Then again, this year's Christmas ain't anything too spectacular to be spoken about.

I now speak of my singlehood, but things have not been completely over. As I mentioned a new chapter speaks of itself, and I'm getting to it. Things have not been rosy or what I even think is proper or ok. There has been so much on my mind, nothing can really be written out.

Just read Sunshine's blog, and my mind is in a whirl. That sounds, seems, felt way too familiar. Sometimes I wonder about what I always say, "What goes round comes round". I know for the evil I did things will come to me one day, and I will have to settle it my good way. Anyway, why do people think I'm having fun when I'm out so late? Does staying out late = fun? Does it mean enjoying myself? No.

She thinks that me being out wif the "China Dolls" = fun. Truth is, I'm only out wif one of them yesterday, the others just disappeared at the last moments, and budget constraints made us unable to go anywhere apart from staying at the same place chatting. She thought that in my moments of "fun" I chose to ignore her msgs and not replied. Truth is, I'm listening to life story and I did not want interruptions. Certainly if you're the one talking about your story you wouldn't want much interruptions and that was what I wanted to achieve. What can I say? Haiz. The dolphin-throwing incident I have nothing to say, since that's just a small episode. Truth is, these group of people will be the simplest if you think of it, but they certainly can fit into the "complicated" category that I have to be careful of how I'm making every single move not to thread onto wrong territory and get killed in the process. Of cos, within normal means I will not get killed, but within rage you never know what happens...

I didn't want this entry to be sort of counter-reply her blog entry, but I know it's happening (lol). I'm trying to end an issue and there was a mention of dragging "the game". Wait, what "game" are we talking about? I know that I've been bad to pop by your place and probably made some feelings stir, and I'm wrong right from that point on. I'm not in a better state of mind myself, I don't even know what is precisely happening and here it is all such things happening.

Ok I have to stop this. LOL. Time for me to activate some long-time-no-used resolute to keep myself in check. If things have to suffer, I do not want anyone else to suffer longer than myself. I sound so selfless and noble, but no - just a piece of shit.

Good shit.

Bad angel.

Whatever.

End of entry for now.

.LuKe.