[CuRRent MooD:] Fine, just that little tired for now
[CuRRent Song:] None (playing in my mind is JJ Lin's Killer)
[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Bah Chor Mee / HL Milk
Need to rush out the stupid interface for my assignment tonight...cos morrow need to present. I hope morrow morning dun need go market else I might not have enough rest to study and then whatever things need to be done.
Somehow as my studies began, free time took on alternate meanings at times. It could mean a personal chillout space, it meant chillout with friends alongside many stuff. I may also decide to try different things on an experimental basis, probably cos I'm in the stage that I can still experiment and recover from failures...of course, some stuff just need extra care.
Like now, my MapleSEA's cleric is level 38 and chief bandit just reached level 70. It's a casual thing for me to play, maybe at times a bit feel more like playing it than doing anything. Then again, as studies took on a precedence I had to at times kill off the playful demon for the hardworking (or at least working) angel...not easy, but trying is the first step to success.
Michelle (workplace) and I were chatting today when our random topics drifted to the direction of relationship. Not much to mention (the common stuff) but some common stuff could let once again make myself realise what views am I holding onto. Like she mentioned about how she missed the woo-ing days and the feelings - that got me to a teasing front of course.
Mic: it's been like 1-2years since i have the being woo-ed feeling. mus go complain to bf again le. haa
Me: wah liew...its common la...as in bgr liao den will cool a bit...
Me: i mean, woo liao u still wan the wooing feeling?
Me: means like as though not together. lol
(some non-relevant response)
Me: means u still wan the attention, the stuff la
Mic: arbothen.. which girl dun like. haha. together le den the attention gets lesser
Me: maybe the flowers, the shyness, the movies...the innocence in some ways
Mic: yes ! lol
Me: yes, its common the attention gets lesser, since being together means being comfortable wif each other, some things will be "less emphasized". but then again, attention can be converted to other things like more care n concern, love and such. commitment and planning maybe.
Mic: wao
Mic: hmm ook. duno how to continue ur theory le. haha
Me: thot u wanna oppose me or something
Me: hahaha
Mic: lol duno how to counter attack la. mind blockage
Mic: =p
I believe we will face such situations at some point of time - no such thing as "forever honeymoon", it will drift off as people tend to know each other much better and relax at a point of time. As such, when we choose to be together with someone, we should just stick to the guns and try to be accepting...unless of course the changes are bent way too much out of proportion. Haha.
My above point could be right, could be wrong. What has been "less attention" could have been placed in other places like "love, care and concern, responsibiliy, commitment" or maybe "possessiveness, pride, dependancy"...it all depends, isn't it? Nothing too much about being "too good" or "too bad" - it's just what we prefer in life.
Writing the "forever honeymoon" theory brought me to think about my brother, who once claimed it is possible to let a relationship "stay similarly" throughout the first few years. It is not really practically unless you have 101% nothing to hide, or you have found a perfect partner (which itself is impractical). Just look at what is happening now to him, I can plainly scoff off that theory.
True, no honeymoon theory, but it takes two to clap, it takes both to maintain a longlasting relationship going through the tests of time into "eternity".
As my brother came into the picture of my blog post, almost nothing good can come out - it will most guarantee mean another ranting session or some sort of post which sees light to how he is and how everyone is handling.
Nowadays as my mum talks about him, I've held myself back much lesser than I used to in the past. In the past I defend for him, now I am speechless. I've seen years gone by, from myself a kid to this moment that I work...sometimes I wonder if I am becoming more unfeeling...but maybe it's more like I'm giving up on him.
All his stupid promises, blablabla succeeds even lesser possibility than a Scroll of Attack on Dagger 10% (Maplers will know what I mean)...I really tend to lose hope in him more and more. I believe more pressure must be exerted on him.
He always asked why his account now unable to play some games as "administrator access is required" and told me to solve it, which I've pushed it away time and again. I've downgraded his access so that he cannot do stupid changes to the system, and it seems that my system has lesser problems and downtime!
I'm planning to do maintenance on system, I guess I'll get him to backup whatever stuff he has before I plan the BIG BOOM. And I need to tell him that I'm not going to let him use the system until he does what is needed to be done. I think I've gave him way too much chances.
It's really so much more a convenience without him at home, seriously. He just creates more problems when he is...gets on me, I really wonder why all these has to happen on our family when mum and dad are seemingly the best parents that one could ever have. He's just taking things for granted bloody way too much.
Oh well, that's life.
When is my skin change??????
.LuKe.
