A gathering in Aloha Changi...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, fine, little pondering

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Finally managed to resolve the server backup thingie for Lily, hehe I really enjoy doing a bit of troubleshooting and learning in the process, a pity I'm just "not there yet".

Anyway, yesterday I took half day off (and in the process conveniently forgotten about the meeting between another user and I) but by the time I reached home it's like 2+pm..and guess what, I thought Jurong Point is under CapitalLand lor...LOL...den reached home, cleared some stuff out of bag, changed and went off to PS area. Wah lau, bring laptop dere 1/2 hour for Wawa to do her stuff den finish le...waste my effort to use energy bring laptop..but oh well, no choice la...

After that went down Heeren (and showed us men thongs -.-) and den walked back up to PS. After that we stayed wif her a while in PC Bunk to watch her play Audition and then I left..only to come back once for my shades and another was to bring Jacqueline (happened to bump onto her on my way to MRT) to Wawa. Then after that went take MRT for a trip down to Pasir Ris.

Jialat really my mistake much of it - I assumed it's Downtown so I took bus from Pasir Ris...guess what, Pat updated me and told me it's Aloha Changi. Oh damn it. I flagged a cab and down I go to Aloha Changi. Alighted there, then again remembered it's NOT exactly Aloha Changi, it's the govt chalets inside. Walked inside and finally found the place. The area brought back some fond memories of my past......

Helped her with some stuff (bringing out from Kitchen to outside) and slowly seeing the familiar faces. After a long long time I've managed to see some of my Poly mates - Samson (with his wife), Sun Loong, Weiming, Wenwei (happens to be my sir in army days) and Minhui (my pri sch mate as well)...chatted for some time and really brought lots of laughter and memories.

Oh well, just about it. =) it's a good gathering. Anyway, is it time for me to change blog skin?

.LuKe.

Suck dust day

[CuRRent MooD:] Fine

[CuRRent Song:] Forgot

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] MacDonald

I think I’m just about super heng or super suay from what I know..hardly a chance to be in a Mac on a morning, so I’m taking my meal in Mac. Just wanted to try my luck in the wireless since it was down few weeks back..and guess what?

Still down.

Checked with the manager and she said it was up few weeks back but probably due to some recabling works, it might have been affected again.

Call that heng or suay?

Later go home will suck dust and dirt..cos contractor will come to change our windows and door gate..hehe finally something new to check out at my place eh? Keke.

Oh well, nothing too much to talk about. See ya ard..

.LuKe.

Long time no blog..but wat to blog???

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Mee Goreng / Sugar Cane drink

Yesterday evening just went through my first real RT session...wah, long time no run really can kill...last time run to Orchard also no problem, now run like dis I tio stitches! Just read a document about stitches @ http://www.thestretchinghandbook.com/archives/side-stitch.htm and surprise, it says "take more fluids", opposed to what many people say about not taking them!

Nowadays hor...playing Maple wif my bro...really bo liao nothing to do kill stupid mushrooms and boars to get caps and teeth...LOL...and raise lvls...really something to pass time, not much skill involved unlike SG...but then again, I decide to let SG rest a while in my mind. With so much regimental changes, I felt rather tired about that. Oh well.

Guess what...ytd came back from RT, I left my working shoes in the bus. DAMN there goes my shoes. Now I'm wearing kuku PT shoes wif work wear...look so KUKU...

Nothing much to blog...so nvm lah...another time..

.LuKe.

I wonder how I endured so long in GeeAssKay

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, vexed, confused, irritated

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Frankly speaking, I do not know what to write. More and more things pile up, no matter how fast or slow it's still the same - we can't finish means we can't.

Come to think, I can't stay here for too long. Oh well...sucky.

.LuKe.

A peaceful sunday PM...

[CuRRent MooD:] Ok

[CuRRent Song:] DJ Jason Chow - The Masterplate Mighty Mix Volume One

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] None

I think I must be mad.

Thursday I'm down with near-flu symptoms, friday I played Maple till 5am to sat morning, then went market wif mum and rested a while after that, then after some time I went out again. And guess what, I tried to be superman again - I went MU at night till 2am I went home...3am reached home, den maple till 5+, den rest a while, come to work!

I think I'm crazy.

Anyway, after these few chionging sessions between Paradigm and MU, I could identify my kakis. Paradigm is obvious, Dan the man and gang but for MU, my bro needs the music to bring him some mood for techno (since RnB is his speciality), same for Jiangyue. So who left for me to bring mood in? I have MingDe and Vivian. Both of them are regular saturday MU goers, and though MingDe don't really dance a lot, I enjoy Vivian's company. Not that she dances great or what, but she can certainly bring a good mood in as she can dance to any music in MU. Of course, she is rather selective on which songs will bring her mood in, and she uses similar style in RnB (only switching bpm slower), but all and all she's a good chiong kaki. Mingde's lucky to have such a chiong kaki and I'm also happy to know such a kaki too.

Yesterday while we were on way back, I was wondering something and I asked my bro, "Sometimes I really wonder what the lives of such MU pple are like. You know, their real lives outside MU." To me, I've only seen Mingde once outside in Marina Square with his gf (I heard they broke up) and as for Vivian, she remains a mystery. Oh well, I guess it's good not to be too nosy sometimes. Why people go chiong is to enjoy, and sometimes to escape or deviate from their actual lives. Few of the pple I knew from MU just got arrested and jailed...so come to think, isn't ignorance a bliss sometimes?

I've tuned down my gaming in SG and turned to Maple. Yeah Maple. Can't imagine? Well I'm only helping my bro's character - I don't have one myself. Don't forget I'm still paying for SG, which now I should maybe wonder if I still should do so.

Another thing to plan now is whether to get my new PC next month, or maybe even planning a phone should the bluetooth dongle be out. If the latter comes true, I might consider that option and even forgo my iPod Nano - I'll sell it.

Oh well...hehe. Whatever.

.LuKe.

Sick Thursday

[CuRRent MooD:] Sick, tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

See my title and mood can le. Going to see doctor later. This week is not overly busy but still got stuff to do.

Too tired. Blog another time.

.LuKe.

Super super tired...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Cheesecake / Milo

This whole week had been super tired, and I know I'm not spared in these 4 days before the weekend. Nowadays it's just wishing the weekdays pass super fast and weekends stay as long as they want...but what to do, there's just 24 hours a day and that's good enough.

Of cos, it was certainly my fault to have stayed up all night last Friday by going to Paradigm and MU, then after that directly back to GSK to report for PM. The power part is when I went back home I just went on to do my own things till about 5pm I went out again. I rested early on saturday - something which I wouldn't imagine myself to do but had no choice since I'm extremely exhausted. Sunday woke up to find Sunshine and then went market with mum to buy stuff, went back home a while and watched Anime with bro, den went out wif Sunshine and walked around.

My reason for staying up on Friday? To relieve those stupid amount of stress accrued from my work. My legs were really tired over the weekend, but I kinda enjoyed myself.

Coming weekend, I should be planning for sports rather than anything else. I think I should come up with some kind of regime. LOL.

Tired tired...zzz

.LuKe.

More and more shit

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired but still awake

[CuRRent Song:] E-Type - Dans La Fantasie

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Chicken Chop + BBQ Chicken Wing / Teh Peng

I tell you all hor, GSK only comes with more and more shit, more and more nonsense, and lesser reasons for us to stay on.

Workload getting more and more, pay also dun add on with OT, you can still grit through, complain and not do much about it - but can you imagine if your privilege gets taken away? Ok, we accept the fact we don't get the $1 discount that their staff gets in lunch time, fine I'm ok with it. We just got updated that we MAY lose our privilege to get those free soft drinks from dispensers (meanwhile we cannot just openly take the drinks - SUCKS) and you know what's next? To be NOT ABLE TO EAT IN THEIR CAFETERIA!!! What's next, cannot buy their products from there as well??? WTF!!! Do you know by doing this, they are further cutting down our efficiency? Imagine scenario we need walk in and out GSK to makan, and during lunch time they will not be able to locate us AT ALL. This might sound like a good thing, but in the long run it's everyone suffering without even looking deep into it. From what I know, nearest eating place is like 5-10 mins walk from GSK, worse than the distance over at Quality Road to nearest makan place. THIS IS GETTING FUCKING RIDICULOUS. They think GSK in Orchard Road issit? It's at TUAS, MIND YOU!!! (ok, outside Tuas)

Phew. A load off. I can't imagine if GSK's big pple decide to say "HP Outsource cannot take food and drinks from cafeteria" - I believe we have reasons to protest. On another front, as what my "old" colleague says, "at most we spend longer time outside, they also cannot say anything, also cannot locate us, cannot ask us to faster come back!" - which is true, but this is really a stupid thing. When this happens, we will start lunch @ 11:30am and be back GSK @ 1:30pm. They cannot blame us - it's their own demise. Fuck those other contractors lah, I know everyone "should be fair, should be equal" but look, we are employed to directly assist a department, we are more like "contract-ed staff of GSK" rather that contractor, from my opinion. We sit in and out office, work with users closely, administer servers, troubleshoot stuff - and tell us like dis. I know other contractors will have their own versions, but remember - we are being taken away our privilege, while they don't have any in the first place. It's worse to have something and taken away rather than not having it at all in the first place, especially if you are talking about privileges. I look forward the day they took away the privilege and me submitting my resignation, reason being "GSK is getting ridiculous. No point staying on and wasting time, wasting effort and gets almost no appreciation".

Ok lah...dun complain so much le...Sunshine already listen too much le...

.LuKe.

Tired stupid week?

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Nothing much to do, trying to relax a little, now trying some LAN pts to work. Need to prepare dis and dat, certainly a tired week and weeks ahead won't be much different.

My ears are ok now, but I've spent like $350 on medical bills and these bills cannot even be reimbursed or subsidised in any way. This is just so plain sucky.

I noe I've not been blogging for like a week or so...well, just feeling tired and busy and stuff. Anyway, for a "record" I've won $36 so far from World Cup - lucky me! Well maybe dat to make up for the medical bills.

Oh well gtg...blog when have time...

.LuKe.

Just random to say the least

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Well, called up Mount E yesterday and told me consultation is $70 excluding procedures...I was like wah, if ask me go twice or more masi siao!!! I hope the referral letter does tell the doctor what to do...so at least go once you know is do once do good...sian part will be still need go back...idiotic...

Nothing much to talk about also...just nothing to do start of my day blog lor...later doing work liao...kicking off the patches and stuff. Ok lah...I think don't talk too much le...work more impt...

.LuKe.

A walk through the past? Just a passing thought...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, pondering

[CuRRent Song:] Deep Spirit - You're The One That I Want (Bass Up! Remix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Just applied oil on my ear...sian...no reimbursement for my specialist checkup! This is so irritating. And guess where they assign me to...Mount E you know??? It is such a damn ex place lor...I also dunno what the hell to do with it...maybe I should call them up and ask the pricing...so at least I'm more or less prepared...otherwise kana bo dai bo ji refer to so ex place, wat for???

Just had a walk into the past yesterday. It was a total shit feeling, I wonder why I had to walk thru it in the first place. Come to think, I think I looked for trouble and trouble came knocking on my door. Good thing it's not a serious issue and I've more or less came to terms with it...well, more or less I said.

Sometimes I wish I couldn't have cared less with my personal life with aspect to this. I would rather be a mindless money-earning machine or a mommy's boy maybe. No choice, I am what I am.

.LuKe.

Finally last week of the month...(reflections)

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral, thinking...

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Milo

Wah...sian ah...this week gonna be yet another troublesome one. Security patches to run, things to solve, den colleague leaving...sigh, add on the fact I'm still clearing up my life, I wonder how are things really going to turn out for me.

I really think I'm quite a sucky person to be out with. Throughout my life I've been trying to be a better person, only turning out worse than what I thought of to be. I guess the best parts of my life has to be time before I'm 18, where major decisions and occurences happened. I guess if I made a different choice, my whole life would have been changed. Still again, even if I made a different choice THAT time, I would've made a similar choice later after that...because I am what I am, and something which I can't change radically.

Sometimes I tink I know what I want in life, and sometimes I think I don't. Seems contradicting eh? Life at 25 and not achieving much, it's really time for me to review my life isn't it? My eldest bro @ 25 was already married, moved out and had life decisions to make for himself. Disregarding my 2nd bro, I guess I'm really an underachiever in this aspect, not able to match up to my eldest bro.

I know my parents do not have too high expectations in me, but somehow I have an expectation of myself to provide whatever I can for them. I know they are always there for me, always ready to help me when I need it, and advise me when necessary (though I find it a nag at times, but that's normal isn't it?). I wanted a gf and wife that can take care of them, that they find comfortable. They do not have high expectations, they are simple people. You'll know it when you talk to them.

Talking abt gf, I guess I really have to rethink about myself and Sunshine. Once again we bumped onto the same issue yesterday, about myself not treating her well and stuff. No, it's not her fault...it's just about me, my expectations and stuff. Sometimes I think I do not understand myself well, sometimes I do...but I know I understood myself way too much I could not have the courage to face it. A brimming pot of evil, maybe.

I know I'm losing myself, but I will have to force myself to pick up again for my parents.

What do I want from my life, people around me and from a prospective gf/wife/partner? I think I know, but just that either I don't work for it or I do not have the courage to face it. Then again, how many would?

How many knows that changes being made will benefit or destroy their very existence? Only by trying it out would you know. It takes courage to change and accept changes.

New journey? Yes/no/maybe?

.LuKe.

What can I do with Life...

[CuRRent MooD:] A lil tired, a lil moody

[CuRRent Song:] Clutch - The Light (Extended Mix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] None (haven't eaten anything the whole day)

I guess I owe an apology to Sunshine for needlessly displaying acts of childishness. I guess it's hard for me as things are going thru my brain and I find it hard to act on myself with thoughts bombarding myself every now and then. Now and then it's the same things, same questions without answers, that I leave myself so puzzled I do not know an actual call of action. I really don't know what I should do next.

Coming weeks will be tough with only me and Malcolm ard (my other colleague will be his last week in GSK) so it's time to get my head (our heads to be precise) even bigger. Sigh...this can be quite a problem really.

This weekend is more or less the same, spending time at home and with Sunshine...went to Bugis wif her yesterday to walk and buy a bit of stuff...still training my SG when I can, and slept quite a lot today. Oh well...what kind of shit life am I leading...I wonder.

Till I can sort out a lot of things, till I can get myself disciplined...there's nothing too much I can do. Yeah, thanks to Serene for trying to make me feel better - she's Dan's "sister".

.LuKe.

Fucked up

[CuRRent MooD:] As per title

[CuRRent Song:] Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Fish Hor Fun / Sugar Cane Drink

Fucked up.

.LuKe.

Just a short update

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] "Vege" Porridge / Plain water

Today ah..wan to see doctor also got problem..tell me cannot claim den need me pay cash! I was like WTF..den I contacted Jacee from GMP den after some clearance she say should be able to see the doctor..later I will go again..dis ear of mine really giving me quite some problems..

Jus about 2 days away from SG’s reincarnation..about time I make my last efforts to level whatever I can..though it will not be simple..anyway I’m in one of the better regiments already..hehe..

Hope morrow go back work wun be overwhelmed by workload..and hope everything goes fine at workplace..if not also no choice la..some things not within our control, but of cos when make a mistake must make sure wun happen again lor..else it’s really no one’s fault but yourself..

Really wonder when this ear of mine will be ok. Oh well..nothing too much to blog on a normal weekday, so I’ll probably leave it for some other time..or till I have things to say.

.LuKe.

A short blog for the week

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Breadtalk Cheese + Ham bread / Grass Jelly Drink

Wah…the week was pretty tough but we did manage to grit our teeth thru it. Oh well what to do, life goes on..

On a good note, I’ve finally got my news of an increment, not too much, jus abt 10% of my total income. Sounds not bad, well beggars are not choosers so I guess I’ll just stick to it.

I’ll go update my resume later on, but I guess I have to find a way to accustom to my lifestyle and get a bit of savings and planning so I can study or at least aim for MCSA (or MCSE).

What have I done for the week? This week I am being hit by an infected ear so I can’t hear properly on the left ear..so I’m out from nightspots.

Friday/Saturday/Sunday:

Come to think of it, apart from the fact I did not go Paradigm, I think all I did was to stay at home and SG. And of course my tiredness got on me as well.

Just got myself those UV screen protector kinda things – my actual intention was to make sure my screen does not get dirtied by random sources (fingerprints, saliva etc) but I hope it will solve the problem of reflective light sources (since my screen directly faces the window).

Time to eat =)

.LuKe.

An update...long or short?

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, pondering

[CuRRent Song:] Melodie MC - Anyone Out There

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Egg + Fish / Pokka Green Tea

I've not updated for a week eh...so what should I write? As usual lor the weekend...

Friday:

Spent morning in QR, took half day off. Went to JP, cut my hair (dis time it's quite short) and wanted to surprise Sunshine by going back early to see her...ended up she went out wif her aunt..so bo bian lor, go home rest a bit den prepared myself, went down to PS to accompany my bro and play game...after that met up with Dan and co, went to Paradigm.

Another private party, but we got to know "the lonely dancer" - his name is Richard. Then got a treat from Andrew as he won jackpot, den hang ard till abt 3am walked to the MU bus stop took NR5 back home.

Saturday:

Rested till late afternoon, prepared myself then meet up Sunshine to go Suntec PC Show. Wah as usual, lotsa pple crowding everywhere, I thought I won't be getting anything this year but...Man Proposes, God Disposes - I ended up getting a BENQ 17" LCD monitor @ $325...with a webcam! But I gave to Sunshine though. Now look at my screen very SONG. LOL. After that met up with Alynna Jie for dinner, den Jazlyn came to meet us as well, den chat and bla bla bla...den go home play game...actually ard near morning wanna slp but Isabelle called me den asked me to call her frequently to make sure she's ok...ended up I turned in ard 7am...

Sunday:

Woke up ard 3, den went to Bugis and met up with Berlinda to purchase system...her rough specs:

P4 2.4a GHZ
PC Chips MoBo
512MB PC400 RAM
Combo CDRW
56K Modem

$478....noticed something missing? HDD? LOL. Cos her previous system that time HDD spoilt, so she got a new HDD. Since she dun really need a good system, so she reuse...then I saw a very attractive offerr:

+ $68 for 250GB SATA HDD

WOW!!! After asking Berlinda, she agreed I could pay the $68 and get myself the HDD. COOL!

Imagine $68 for 250GB SATA HDD...whr to find????

Brought to her place and set up everything...reached home already 12+midnight le...

Today:

BUSY DAY!!!!!!

Actually had something else to talk about...but never mind...another time...

.LuKe.

Monday's journey back home

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] LJS

Now on the way back home blogging..hehe. Well the weekend has been rather normal, nothing too much to boast about so here it goes..

Friday:

Knock off from work and took cab with my work colleagues and ‘boss’ to Clarke Quay to makan. By the time we reached there its 7:30pm (took an hour to reach) and the cab fare costs over $25. This is so expensive! Anyway we ended up taking our dinner at an Indonesian restaurant and chatted quite a lot about work-related issues (boring but what to do) and some off-work stuff. Around 9pm I took 190 with Malcolm (the newest addition into the team) and went to PS. After he met up with his friends I went to Atrium.. jus as I was abt to go in, I was being intercepted by a female who asked for some time for a survey. Turned out it’s a Prudential agent and I told her I had an agent who is from Prudential too. We chatted a bit and talking a lot of rubbish before I took my leave. Nothing much abt the night apart from bumping onto Andrew and he asked if I’m going to Planet Paradigm and I replied another time – budget low and mum’s visit to clinic the next day. Upon reaching home I took a bath and went to bed.

Saturday:

Woke up 9:45am and prepared to go clinic with mum. By the time I’m back home it’s I think 12+ and I turned on the comp to play SG. About 2+ near 3pm I went to take a nap and woke up at ard 5pm. Thinking that I had to meet up with Berlinda, I prepared myself and went to MRT station..but she called me after I passed the gantry and said that she does not have sufficient cash..so ok..another time. I took train down to PS. Went Atrium arcade and hang around a little before my bro appeared. Accompanied him to Park Mall to meet up Wawa and went Holiday Inn Hotel for an interview in a pub. After that we took bus back to Centerpoint and walked to Cineleisure to makan. After that went to MU with them but only stayed till the last bus and went home. Home, play game till morning.

Sunday:

Accompanied Sunshine for the whole day.

Today:

BUSY DAY. LOL.

.LuKe.

This life of mine is getting dangerous...or is it?

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] Spring Break - Big Bad Love (Cascada Remix Long)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Sichuan Vege / Water

I know pple will ask me why, but I guess I wun say much of now. I just wanted it to be written here so when I come back to my blog entry, I would think back of what may or not had happened and whether Ive regretted it.

Is GSK's significance only drill down to that?

.LuKe.

Just a passing thought

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] 品冠 & 梁静茹- 明明很爱你

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] LJS

Sorry if I mis-spelt Fish Leong's chinese name.

Just a small writing after I listened to S.H.E.'s 不做你的朋友...

This song at one point talks about a couple unable to be together and remains as best friends. We know for certain such situations is few and far between, and that it can rarely be maintained. Of course, they did sing in the end to propose to not being friends at all.

I hold an extreme optimistic view to my relationships - that whatever happens, we should at least still be friends. So far so good, maybe not always in contact but at least no one hates the other like bitter enemies. I still chat with at least one of them (maybe cause she's the one who let me down), as for the rest it's occasional.

I often believe the key is never to end a relationship in a quarrel - it should be due to mutual understanding of each other that one acknowledges the other's reason to not maintain the close relationship any further. Such things is tough and depends on the individual...but nothing is impossible so long you work hard enough.

This is going to be a short writing as my new keyboard sucks. LOL. Till another time =)

.LuKe.

Yet another dream (a short one)

[CuRRent MooD:] Normal

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Plain water

It's strange that I had only 4+ hours of sleep and yet I could have a dream...a short one that is. I do not understand why, and this had never happened - I dreamt of the same person consecutively 2 days. It must've been her marriage that somehow affected my subconscious. The dream is very simple, only lasted a minute probably - I was in a hall, looking at people dancing Line Dance (something which used contemporary music in sychronised steps of groups of pple or individuals - kinda like Para Para but the latter uses Eurobeat in general) and I saw her right beside me dancing along with the others. It is real strange, and I woke up.

The idiotic rebuilding for QR really got on to me. What's wif this place that their network rebuild is so slow I had to use CD rebuild...and that the CD rebuild is equally f*cked up as well? This is total crap.

I guess the dream happened cos I'm quite an emotional person...even though nowadays I chose to hide some feelings, some still persist. Yesterday I read Pingguo's blog and was somehowwhat felt deeply about how she is feeling at the moment. Oh well..life is like dis.

Gonna end blogging. Somehow some idiotic thing is happening. -.-

On a sidenote, one of the LSX pple is getting married. Oh well...I'm really getting old. STRESS AH.

.LuKe.

So bored...

[CuRRent MooD:] Bored, tired, sleepy

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Seafood Mee Goreng / Lemon Barley Drink

So bored...wanna sleep...but got to wait for the CD burn finish...den do stuff...den can go back.....JU site. SIAN!!!

Haha...on a light note, I'm taking morrow afternoon off. Later go back JU must PIA!!!

Wait...I'm a slacker...blogging while @ work! SINFUL!!!

Oh well, gonna wait for the CD to finish, so what to do.

Later go put the tapes in safe.

Person whom I'm looking for on MC...hmmm..hahaha...

I think you see the way I type you will know how bored I can get.

Anyway I had a dream this morning...funny one, and certainly won't happen cos it's a clash of timeline.

I have both Steven (my Para friend) and my childhood sweetheart as my classmates! This is weird.

The setting is like a big classroom...or canteen...or both, since it's like both combined into one mega big room...the classroom is on one side and the canteen the other. I was eating lunch with Steven and my childhood sweetheart (call her A la) when she and her friend walked past us. Both of them are student councillors, so they have some power...I saw her friend throwing rubbish in improper ways, and talked somehowwhat loudly. Steven left me to go back class, which I'm finishing my big plate of food when she jus came along and said, "you better finish the food faster, and remember to clear your food else there will lots of rubbish everywhere." - it's a bad tone really.

I took the tray and plate, and stood up and went to the collection area to clear...but as I walked past I said "don't think just because you can talk loudly means anything. I do clear my rubbish unlike someone else who throws it around and talks louder than me."

I could see both their faces change, and were furious. I added "don't look at me, I'm speaking the truth. I'm going back to class."

They literally stared at me as I was walking back...I could feel it. I walked towards Steven and commented "those are certainly some unreasonable girls!"

And I woke up. Strange dream.

Oh well...off I go.

.LuKe.

Now I truly feel the "work sucks" feeling...

[CuRRent MooD:] SIAN

[CuRRent Song:] Bananarama - I Love The Way

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Chicken / Water

I dun wanna talk so much abt work though.

Looking around in Friendster, two friends of mine got married...or should I say, one ex-friend. Beautiful ladies, if you wanna see just request from me (the pics I meant).

Life takes many turns, sometimes up and many downs...but it's just how we treat life that life wanna treat us. Frankly speaking, I just wanna write a little here before I disappear.

Today took 1/2 day off and visited GMSS. Could not see Mrs Tan around though.

Sleeping soon, another shit day morrow @ GSK. Just wanna leave that place soon...maybe?

.LuKe.

Sunday is a Mother Day...

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] LJS + Coke

Today is PM day and it sucked cos it had its failures. Not to mention that now they are fighting wif fire over at main site cos the email server not working..die man dunno why like dat..

So talking about my weekend..it’s just slightly over half the fun I anticipated..well at least it’s not a total failure.

Friday:

Vesak day holiday, so accompanied my mum to the market to buy some fruits and stuff. Den reach home and continued to set up my comp cos I could not find the CD I need. Anyway I’ve reformatted my comp, so it’s a lot better and recovered from the common ailments that irked me. Initially arranged to go to Chinatown with Joanna, ended up she wanted to go Jurong to collect some stuff so I didn’t accompany her but instead went to meet up with Dan to have an early dinner and also to check out the arcade till time runs out. After that we met up with the rest (Brian, Yvonne and forgot the gal’s bf’s name lol) and went up Paradigm.

Paradigm to us on Friday is what we term as “private party” cos there are so few pple..but nevertheless we ordered a Jim Beam for all to enjoy. I didn’t know Jim Beam can be downed so easily – we only used 2 jugs of mixers for the bottle of JB..the music was nice, DJ Jason Chow lived up to his name but a pity the crowd was disappointing – we have agreed that we should try to heighten the crowd this coming Friday by posting on possible mediums – Friendster, WhoLivesNearYou and whatever we can think of..jus gather the techno/eurodance lovers!! Besides, it’s ladies nite too!

Pulled Belle to the place too and she seemed to be the only female enjoying the ladies nite as I had to accompany her to the counter to get her free drink till the staff got fed up (joking here). The thing ended at 3, she met up with her Maple friend and I went with the pple to makan n drink at the open makan place beside Meridian, den went back home.

Saturday:

Woke up at abt 2pm as my mum dragged me out to the market to buy daily necessities. After that, went back home to game a bit and check stuff, and agreed a time out with Joanna to Chinatown @ 6pm. Met up 15mins later and she said Jovi was around (Jovi for your info is one of my real-life SG playing friend) so we met up with him and went to makan and check out N80 pricing. So far the cheapest for non-plan N80 is $998.

We took 124 and went to town, to PS so Joanna could find a Mother’s Day gift which the end she didn’t..ended up is Jovi got a gift instead from Precious Thots. After walking ard for a while they said they wanted to go “poke balls” (pool) so I took my leave and went down to Zone-X and saw Eddy, an arcade fren from my Para days. After hanging ard for a long time, we went makan @ BK (actually it’s me makan) den went up Star Fac, saw Belle. Den played Puzzle Fighter, den after that walked out of PS, they took cab to PartyWorld Orchard while I took bus 111 back home.

Cheong game...SG and the jap game my bro dled. No sleep.

Sunday:

Now, going back home after PM. An hour or so later and I have to check server. SIAN!!!

.LuKe.

P.S.: Server going fine. Hope everything is great.

Updated on Friday for Thursday

[CuRRent MooD:] Fine

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] N.A.

Yeah I’m on half day off today, now going back home in the train.

2 super juniors sitting beside me..what do I mean by super juniors? I meant those that was from my sec sch but are not within my batch (that means they are not there while I am)..haha, weird way of saying it eh?

Later reach home, change of clothes den go out le..meeting up wif Ricky to Queensway, den makan and chat a bit den I continue go town le I assume. In the evening will be meeting up with Isabelle to take a CD from her..den jus spend a bit of time outside..everything goes fine, I’ll be reformatting my comp tonight.

Tentatively on Friday I’ll be going Paradigm while will be going drinking on Saturday, but there is no confirmation..which means things can turn pretty happening or boring depending on how everything goes.

Work has been fine this week, busy but still managable, tied up a bit of loose ends here and there but there is still lots of work to be done. It’s QR week for me the coming week, and I’m having PM on Sunday. Hope the PM dun screw too much. Gonna be careful with it.

Now listening to Masterplate CD tracks..felt that the first CD is better. Hehe.

Actually nothing much to write about..I hope I have more pics after the weekend! =)

.LuKe.

Just a pic for all of you =)

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral tired

[CuRRent Song:] VA - The Masterplate Mighty Mix Volume One (Disc 2)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Egg + Hot Dog / Water

Nothing much, just a picture for all of you:



Do we look like siblings? =)

.LuKe.

Tired sleepy sunday

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired but ok mood

[CuRRent Song:] E-Type - Far Up In The Air

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Curry Chicken and Hawaiian Pizza / Pokka Green Tea

SIAN!!! Morrow need to work. SIAN SIAN SIAN.

Lemme recap...

Friday:

Went to Planet Paradigm with Daniel and co. Initially went to PS' Star Factory to play Puzzle Fighter den bumped onto Dan's fren Andrew. Den after hanging in there a while, went down wif him to meet up another of their friend, Mandy (the 2nd Mandy that I know of). After that went to Meridian there the open-air makan place and eat and chat. After a while Andrew told me a gal asked him go over meet her, so we went with him back to PS' Starbucks. His friend's name is Gladis or something (pronounce same as Gladys), then chat and crap so much, then we meet up the rest and went to Planet Paradigm.

Friday Planet Paradigm is Eurodance night! Techno all round man!!! Hahaha!!! Not bad, spacious, cheap drinks (compared to MU) and dance floor is practically our pple...LOL. I heard they going there again coming Friday for drinks, so I might join them again.

Saturday:

Woke up after 2 hours of slp to accompany Sunshine a while then go back home SG and dally around, then evening time proceeded to PS. Damn I alighted at wrong bus stop and had to walk the remaining distance to PS. Went to Star Factory again and saw Andrew, and until about 11+pm I walked over to Orchard Shopping Centre to meet up with Joanna, my cute cousin ;) ...den she brought me up the ktv pub whr the room they booked with their pple. Had free Martell to drink - nice! =) den got to celebrate birthday of her sis Joanne (a babe in my opinion!). Then just see show (see how Joanne is down with so much drinks), see and hear and sing song, den see see around a bit till Isabelle msged me and asked whr I am...den after dat she came to join me. After staying for a while she wanted go MU, so we went. Come to think, how Joanne responds to her friends about my existence makes it so funny. I was trying to get a pic wif her and Joanna (which I did) den also quite funny, one of the guys responds this manner:

Guy: hey you know I am to her anot?
Me: then you know who I am to her anot?
Joanne: hey you know who he is anot?
Me: I'm her cousin leh!
Joanne: he's my real cousin leh!
Guy: I also never really say who I am to her wat...

Something like that...so funny, come to think of it!

MU there we reach is euro/techno already, den she asked to get Vodka Ribena and Baileys on rocks. Then just dance and listen music, den go home. I already so tired liao..hahaha..

Sunday:

SLEEP. Wake up go market with mother. Come back home. SLEEP. SLEEP.

Wake up eat, bath, now chatting and blogging.

LATER SLEEP.

HAHAHAHAHA......

.LuKe.

Happy stuff and not-so-happy thoughts

[CuRRent MooD:] Lil tired

[CuRRent Song:] BoA - First Snow

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Fish / Plain Water

Actually it's vice versa but just thought of talking about the happy stuff before touching the not so happy ones.

Just now I went to Mac with my neighbours, then I happened to bump onto my Primary school friend who jio-ed another Primary school fren out to have a chat. Even though I do not understand too much of the people which they were talking about (after all, they were on similar tracks in life - the JC route), I felt the kind of feeling being with old friends just cos they were my Primary school frens. It's really cool chatting random stuff, associating with their own kind of excitement and enthusiasm towards different thigns yet maintaining my own individual stand. Really cool.

Upon thinking about stuff these days, the anti-idea came to mind today - about two of my close ones leaving the country probably - but they never visit my blog so I doubt they will really notice how I feel.

One is my Alynna Jie and the other, my Desy daughter.

Alynna is going back to Australia a few months down the road, and although I do not display too much, no one really understands (neither do I) why I was so happy with her stay in Singapore. There was simply a small sense of loss and worry while she's away in Aussieland, and upon hearing of news she's back I was all so happy and enthusiastic meeting her, often just trying to make up and forgo many other stuff for her. Knowing of her going back Aussieland brings me some pain deep in me, which I wonder why. I'll always support Jie's endeavours in work and life, and though I can't bear to see her back in Australia, I'll have to support her.

Desy is Indonesian, so no doubt she will be back there...from what I've heard, it should be in the coming months, maybe just a few months after Jie goes back to Aussie. I don't think I can accomodate too much of having my 2 close ones being a distance away from me, especially for Desy's case that she won't be back in Singapore anytime soon (and possibly never). It's strange how I started out having a liking for her but ended up in the current state.

Sometimes I wonder why all these happens, why life works out this way for me. Maybe it's just another trial for me to think of ways to make myself able to fend myself without dedicating my feelings and love for others, and just redirect it back to myself, my life and those who really needs it. I really wished there's some way out of such mess.

After all these, I will be left with Berlinda, Patricia and Michelle. Frankly speaking, I held many different feelings and approaches towards these ladies in my life...I'll probably mention in another blog entry when I have the time.

Till then people.

.LuKe.

Running through my thoughts

[CuRRent MooD:] Ponder wonder mood

[CuRRent Song:] Nuage - I Really Wanna Be Your Magic

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] LJS / Pokka Green Tea

Actually by now I would've forgotten what to write. Haha...somehow my thoughts are a little clearer now, though I would think they might not be the best of solutions, but I think it might just work out.

Till next update.

.LuKe.

Weekend to an end...it's just another week...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] Jamelia - Superstar

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Duck Rice / Meiji Chocolate Milk

Played SG on Friday nite till Saturday abt 5+am, den slp till 9:30am to accompany mum to the market. Nothing much to buy, so went back home to continue SG. Went out with neighbours ard 3pm, den reach town near 4...since I reckon I'll be meeting my Jie soon, I left them and proceeded to PS. Reached there and realised on the way that my hair sucks, so I went Jean Yip @ PS.

You know, I wouldn't want to go there again. I waited for about half an hour before I finally get some attention, and it's more expensive compared to what I paid @ JP. Then again, the standard is not bad la I think...but my hair now quite short...the good thing is that they gel-ed my hair up that lasted throughout the night...hahaha...

After that I went to meet up wif Alynna Jie, and I think she was rather surprised at my hair...den after a short while Patricia called me and asked where I was...den I told her den she say she wanna come find me...after checking wif Jie (who had other programs), she came to look for me.

Went to have Pastamania, den walked around PS...chat and chat...den took her car to Cineleisure den walk ard again...stopped at the makan drinking place at level 5, den slack for long time before she sent me over to DXO.

Went DXO..crowded, and my first impression is MOS / 4 (Ministry of Sound layout and size divided by 4)...LOL. Then walk a bit, saw zero familiar faces (apart from Shaun himself), den Isabelle arrived. Brought her inside, den walk a bit, den find a place to settle down. Den she started toking and chatting wif me, telling me abt her stuff. Den she proposed to order 6 Tequila Shots, which we took 3 each.

No effect, I thought.

We continued chatting...den ordered Whiskey Lime and Vodka Ribena. Then as I downed the vodka, something is wrong.

Damn, the kick from Tequila came. LOL.

Den just drink and drink lor...lol...and lotsa nonsense but of cos I'm still sober.

A bit seh, but still know what I'm doing.

Den left DXO 2am, Pat fetched us and went to MU.

Reached there, nothing much...drank some Chivas from Wawa's bottle, den Wawa also started telling me stuff.

Oh man...in all, Saturday is listening day. I listened to 3 ladies' words and woes.

What to do, I'm a listener in nature. Now I'm listening to another. LOL.

.LuKe.

Very tiring week...and shit ahead

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Cold Plain Water

On train blogging again. This week has been torrid, so stressful, rushing for time, rarely got time to slack lor..yesterday I tried resting for a while and guess what, at work place half hour just flown off while I was at home I wanted to rest a while den continue to work at night but ended up I rested 7+pm and woke up 7am the next day..you can know how tired I am eh? I skipped dinner and my bath. Yea I smell. Haha.

Nothing much for this week apart from being super busy..becos of the stupid printer installation, my patches got interrupted, my operations was not properly done and now I got a shit thing at hand..one of the laptops that was handed to me just disappeared from sight. Right now I am still wondering where it could have went to. Puzzling.

Later reach home still need to finish up a bit of work..still need to submit data at end of work day which I will need check wif my colleague if he or me will be the one doing it. I need a good rest – or massage. LOL.

Tonight Ricky say might go out, but I not sure too. Morrow will be “happening” I guess..haha going DXO as well as MU..den dunno will go other places as well..also dunno if will meet up wif my jie..den dunno dis dunno dat..it’s a long weekend but with so much worries, even if you give me a week to rest I also may not rest properly.

Oh well fuck it. Just enjoy and rest first den leave everything for Tuesday to give all the shit.

.LuKe.

Tired Busy day @ Work

[CuRRent MooD:] A little drained
[CuRRent Song:] Master Blaster - Since You've Been Gone
[Last FooD/BeveRage:] "San Lao" Hor Fun / Teh Peng

Today was really a busy day. Busy till I couldn't have thought the day passed so damn fast. SO much things to do, so little time - but good thing there's only 24 hours a day, don't you think so? If a day can extend or slow down as we wish, we would have been overstretched already.

Nothing much to write apart I met up with Ricky for dinner...chat a bit, then he talked about his plans, den like dat lor. I cleared the basin's trash from the dunno what thing (I can explain but I don't know what that thing is)...yeah.

Probably should end here, not much to write.

.LuKe.

Back To Basics

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] Expresso - Drive Me Crazy

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Apple / Pokka Green Tea

After God knows how long, I remade my blog. Back to basics, no fancy stuff, just plain old me.

Went to MU on Friday and Saturday and left before the last bus. Not much mood these days, either it's time to change a place to go, or that I'm old. LOL old.

It's going to be a bloody busy week for me in GSK. I better survive through it, since it's pay day coming weekend...LOL

On a good note, a lady from HR side wanted to buy my 2nd hand iPod Mini...=)

Nothing much to write about since I did not really go out today apart from being with Sunshine for a few hours slacking at her place.

I believe stuff are about to be undone, uncovered and unveiled. I'm waiting.

Bring it ON!!!

.LuKe.

Weekend is coming again...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] KFC + Iced Lemon Tea

Oh well I’m on my way home now..

Nothing too much to blog I guess, yesterday’s entry was really rather nonsensical.

Sunshine’s on a mood today; her kids really made her fuming mad. Well for those who might not know, she is a tutor so dun get mistaken when I said “her kids”. Sometimes I also dunno what I can do to make her feel better or happier..she still look quite the same, maybe a little better, after meeting wif me jus now. I really dunno wat I am doing these days, I seemed to have lost it.

Wonder what’s wrong with me, just feeling all too prone to such matters without knowing a good way to handle it.

Today I was terribly late so I took a cab down to work. My budget is flat now, I got to source out ways to sustain for the remainder 10 days ahead. Think I have to spend my weekend night at home chionging SG or something.

I want to step out of my current lifestyle at times, but I do not know which part I should step out from to make improvements. I know I should get a better job, better in terms of pay and also stability, since mine is outsource and that I could never know what will happen to me once my contract ends.

My HR fren was strange today; she thought it’s Wednesday today! LOL. That’s what I call “overworking”.

I should really get a chance to study somehow. Do what I want. Right?

Right.

Maybe.

Wrong.

Just contacted Shelley (my agent) just now and she told me to just go through a few banks and enquire about study loans. Yeah perhaps I should.

Then I came down from MRT station and guess what, I bumped onto Xiaoyan (Shan's good friend's sister) and her cousin. After chatting a while I got to see Xiaolin (Shan's good fren) and after a bit of chat we went our ways. Oh well..a nice refreshing feeling to break the monotone in my life at times.

.LuKe.

On the train back from Bedok

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Burger King Meal

Hey I’m on the train blogging again. Haha.

Just went to Berlinda’s place to check out her comp..dunno why leh, everytime go take a look it’s some stupid problem most of the time..so can considered a wasted trip le..never mind la, let her noe that computers are scared of people who knows how to deal with them. LOL.

While at Bedok called up Eleen and found that she’s not feeling well, else I could ask her out for dinner near her place. Always like dat one leh..dunno is I suay or what..haha..no choice la wat to do rite?

I’ve not got over my internal struggle but I got a little less moody probably because I don’t want to see Sunshine moody because I am..yeah lor..headache leh but wat to do..Sunshine’s + is also a - ..she is a bit child-like (not childish) lor..so sometimes talk to her I like talking to 5 year old like that..but serious matters she still ok with it..so I also dunno how to deal with such situations..

Running out of cash liao..sian..flat le..still need to top up my cashcard for makan @ GSK..where got enough money..need to loan again liao..sian..

Suddenly thought of a silly thing to blog about..

What does every MRT station in Singapore possibly remind you of?

This seems a silly topic, but I believe I can think of something for most of the mainstream stations (I mean non-NEL).

Start with Boon Lay. Boon Lay reminds me of GSK (current job), Shuyan (my sec sch sis), Meiyi (my sec sch crush), Sylvia (my ex).

Lakeside reminds me of Jurong Calvary Bible Presbyterian Church, the place where I got most of my fundamental Christian teachings from.

Chinese Garden makes me think of Mid-Autumn festival because that’s where all the fanciful big lanterns and stuff will be.

Jurong East..this one ah..hahha..so much people and places. Javin (sec sch fren) and his place, Shuqi (sec sch fren), Christina (good fren of Shuyan), Lilin (sec sch teacher and mentor during my short days in Jurong Calvary), Jurong Entertainment Centre.

I’ll go eastwards and next stop will be Clementi. This one also a lot..Qiyue (sec sch fren), Thomas (sec sch fren), Nan Hua Sec Sch, Clementi Big Bookshop, Clementi Bookstore (the blue one which sells lots of comp books and other books), Clementi Mac, Clementi Movie Theatre (forgot the name, the one in front of the train station. When I was young I did watch a show over there before), Clementi Student Service Centre..probably more..

Dover MRT – Kaixin (pri, sec, poly fren), Singapore Polytechnic.

Buona Vista MRT..do I need to elaborate..haha..my place, my aunt’s place and many many stuff associated with my life..since I lived in Ghim Moh all my life so far!

Ok I shall stop here. I think I’m bore-ring people. Haha..oh well, what gives! Finally midway through my train journey, at least I can blog and write rubbish. Endure a bit ok? Haha.

I’ve already prepared myself to change a job, thus I updated my Resume and sent it out, and got more sources for me to find jobs. This move should get me out of my predicament for the time being, whether I like it or not. It might not be a bad move to leave GSK, although I got a feeling that the staff dere are ok with me around. I should not wait for my review, but I guess I can scare or pre-emp the HP side with the intention of leaving and see what their response is. I think it’ll be fun. Anyway I’ll complete my part of the Ops manual before I go, and make sure the new guy is well-trained. I don’t like to leave just like this leaving my ex-company in a spot – just not my style. For ITSS, I’ve tried to teach Ricky as much as I could in that one week, and though he is still learning, but I guess that’s really something that cannot be avoided.

My butt is warm and numb already. -.-

.LuKe.

I'm FAT!

[CuRRent MooD:] FAT

[CuRRent Song:] Central 7 - Neverland

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Wah FAT liao still eat...anyway, Fish Hor Fun & Sugar Cane Drink & Honeydew Sago

SHIT.

I realised it.

I

M

F
.
A
.
T
.
!!!

I noticed it after wearing a Polo I've not wore much since I started working at GSK.

Darn.

Anyway...nothing much to write. I did something unimaginable - talking about "interesting topics" with my friend (audible actually) at a bus stop! LOL.

Ok gonna disappear again.

.LuKe.

Weirdness in Life

[CuRRent MooD:] Weird

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] N.A.

(As per blogged after work)

Now I even stronger..go blog on the bus..I think later confirm headache by the time I reach JP..ahaha..

Nothing much really to blog cos I forgot whr I stopped..I think I stopped the point I mentioned about going KTV pub wif my sis on the weekends.

Today is a shit day as Lily is back and we have so much to handle..not to mention that Gan will be away on leave a week and that Barn was on half-day..ouch..at least Mervyn is now learning bit by bit..morrow den siong..only left me on site..even more power..headache leh..

Sometimes I wonder if life is playing tricks on me. At times I seem so demanding and unreasonable, yet at times I feel that I’m so satisfied with life quite easily.

What am I doing?

Sleepy. Yawn.

Life’s really on weirdness mode now. I really hope to get an answer soon regarding life’s plan on me.

On the other hand, shouldn’t I be the one dictating how life should go for myself? I wonder why should I just stay resigned and not do something about it.

Sometimes it’s really not about not doing, it’s about considering odds and many other things including my emotions and thinkings.

Oh. So. Tired.

.LuKe.

Wait and wait...boring Sunday...

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired but awake

[CuRRent Song:] What song? Song in brain = Super Guts by Jeff Driller

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Egg + Luncheon Meat + Fishcake

Now Preventive Maintenance waiting for the backup to run successfully..boring.

On a light note, my DVD is here! Wonder what it is?

Gazen Parapara Gakuen - Parapara Dayo! Zenin Shugo hen


Friday and Saturday nights I went out with Pat to KTV pub..lol long time no go KTV pubs le..ok la the place, but den I dun really have much of KTV singing moods so ask me go such places also kinda strange...it's jus cos I pei her lo so jus go. One of her frens' fren look like Apple Hong from the side.

Yesterday I went to get Nokia 6111...initially I wanted to trade in my 7270 with 6111...ended up cos my 7270 a bit faulty so they cannot accept...then in the end got to get my Sunshine to pay first...cos dun have the money for now..at least for now till I sell the phone lor..hope can get a good price...

Ok lah...nothing much to do...hehe...I go disappear for now...

.LuKe.

My Train Update again

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] N.A.

On behalf of 07-Apr-06 evening, around 7pm.

lHehe..guess what I’m now on MRT blogging..now going to town to see see look look walk walk..den wait for Sunshine den go home together lor..hehe

Hmmm..today is fine I guess..but sad dat now cannot chat with my HR fren at workplace le..cos I think she tio found out chatting so kana complain lor..wun be surprised if it’s that Ms. M again..dunno la, who cares..good things dun last long anyway.

Next week my “mentor” Lily (GSK) will be back from Hols le..wait till she see what happened to the backups..lol..can cry sia..but well got us observing still not so bad..see la, I this week ops den got to observe the backups from home over the weekend..which is to say, Saturday morning I still need to wake up in the morning to ensure that the policies are running properly, den evening will need to activate the vaulting process. Oh well, I guess it’s kinda good experience since it reminds me to be committed to my work and not complain these small little things.

Not much to observe in this train for now, beside me is a slping guy, LOL. Initially thought of resting as well but I guess by resting in the bus jus now made me a lil awake enough to be blogging now. I’ll continue playing SG tonight probably to catch up my levels..I got back to my previous regiment, but I’m not too sure how long I will stay. If Jovi somehow persuades me to go over the “training” regiment, I might just go ahead – after all it’s good to be a better player trained by top-tier pple.

A lady and two guys sitting on floor. Ok.

Reminds me of my good old days where I will sit on the floor listening to music or resting in the train. I will still do that when I’m pretty tired I guess.

Linda just called and made me spend quite some minutes on outgoing call. Sian..but what to do..I’m such a good guy..PUI..

Hahhaa..guess it’s about a few stations away from the interchange..I will be ending my blog entry. Nothing much to say also la..jus a small little update to populate my blog.

Till next time..in my pondering mood..

.LuKe.

My tasty hair

[CuRRent MooD:] Pissed off (post-blog mood)

[CuRRent Song:] Jazmine - Dream On

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] MOS Burger Teriyaki Chicken Burger Meal + Iced Milk Tea

Damn Mac wireless..totally cannot make it. 4 green bars, zero connection. Nothing I can describe it apart from sucky. Oh well what do you expect from free service?

The week gone by like almost any other week, yesterday was a stupid post so I’ll try something different while waiting for Sunshine. It’s almost 9pm and I’m still at Jurong Point..lol. Saturday I went to MU with dotter and it was okay..cos I was pretty tired for unknown reasons (or maybe cos of the room temp vodka that I took from Brian) that I did not enjoy myself fully. It could be cos of Linda as well, I could never know. Sometimes you really wonder how life evolves in such a way you have a sudden urge to say “I’m blessed!”..that’s how I felt about myself these days at times.

Everything is far from best, but I do not have the worst. I’m still surviving ok, and if my resolute and planning is all right, I believe I will certainly survive in this small world of Singapore. It sounds pretty weird but yes, anyone who lives in this small island country knows how hard it is to make real ends meet..that is of cos disregarding the fact you are from some rich family background.

Today’s topic is “delicious hair”. Quit that, I know you’re laughing. No one will get it till you get to smell my hair – smells like tangy orange with a tinge of lemon in it. Don’t believe it? Wait till I wear the hair wax and you will sense it, and I think you will beg me to never wear the wax again – it smells way too orange. I knew Gatsby’s hair wax has a bit of citrus in it, but no way could it beat the wax I just bought – 30 dollars down the drain and you add oranges into your hair! Ain’t that cool? =)

For your info, I will only wear this wax on outing days – it’s too expensive for me to wear it to work. Catch me while I’m fresh – I really smell orange. (^_^)

Dotter is back to Indonesia for 2 weeks, so I’ll be resting at home (at least away from MU) for the time she’s away – I can save up a bit (hopefully) or to catch up some movies or whatever with friends or Sunshine.

I’ll probably be changing a phone in the coming week or two..wanna know what I’ll be changing? It’s going to be a common phone, nothing way too fancy but having enough features for me to warrant a change – it’s not Nokia 7370 though, as some may speculate cos I’ve mentioned it before.

15 minutes or so away. Oh well time passes slowly for now. And the network is down, forcing me to go back home and make sure the vaulting for my backups @ work will be successful..oh well talking about bringing work back home..it sucks. All these for that measly pay..shit happens, what to do?

Barn jus told me he read my blog, hey welcome in. Has he caught my Vitamin Theory yet? That sounds pretty dumb but I haven’t found such an “inspirational” post for a long time. Guess I’m still a little bo liao in my mind. Or as what my Sunshine and friends said, am I lacking Vitamin S? I’m certainly lacking Vitamin M and a good dose of Vitamin Z…which should I focus first?

Some people claimed my zilian-ness is an overdose due to my pics in Friendster being self-oriented; I did mention I will only put self pics there while putting group pics in Friendster Album. Come to think of it, I’ve not updated that album for a super duper long time. Maybe I should consider doing it sometime..but I’ll have to start searching for all the group pics that I’ve missed out from the last update till now..how many of those do I have?

Da Ge, if you are reading this, I was wondering if you wanna contribute to mummy’s Mother’s Day present – a fridge for the family. I’m targeting at the cheaper-ranged fridges, it’s about $500 at most..at least from what I’ve seen. Just update me if you feel interested to chip in a little :P

Back to what Barn asked, well that issue has no clear resolution as of yet. It’s just rather I can compromise my personal demands and standards. I did (and didn’t) realise I have so much questions in my mind and so little answers. Seriously speaking I’m back to Square One, similar to last time while I was with Shan..but this time it’s somehow different as I’ve known what I want, but do I want to pursue it?

And to my HR friend (she probably won’t be reading this), thanks for being my friend..I appreciate for the help and advice – you too take care of yourself.

Sunshine is out, gonna go ‘fetch’ her.

.LuKe.

Post-blog: GMP totally pissed me off with this month's payment. They better explain clearly to me what went on.

The theory of the 3 Vitamins for Men

[CuRRent MooD:] Feeling funny

[CuRRent Song:] Nuage - I Just Want To Keep You Hangin' On

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Meiji Chocolate Milk

While I was chatting with much of my friends, I came up with this weird theory while I was out with Sunshine...

What are the 3 vitamins of Men I'm talking about? They are...

Vitamin M(oney)
Vitamin S(ex)
Vitamin Z (zzz = sleep)

What's the relationship between 3 of them? As you can see, when you have more Vitamin M, you get a higher chance of Vitamin S...however, to get Vitamin M you need to work hard for it thus you need more Vitamin Z to make up for it. To have good Vitamin Z, you may need a good dose of Vitamin S.

Therefore...to show you what I conjured up...



Cool eh? Propagate the info please. :)

.LuKe.

Just a bo liao thing :)

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] Bl-chen - Schmetterlinge (album mix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Green Tea

Just something for fun...

http://www.myheritage.com

Introduced by Christina...hehe





Never knew I look like chio bu using my Jean Yip pic (see my friendster)...

.LuKe.

It's a Friday evening

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] None

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Double Cheeseburger

(written on Friday evening, 24-Mar-06 around 7pm)

I noticed that nowadays I’ve been forgetting about little things that pple tells me and always remember the things I told pple in particular. Brings me a fact I’m being more selfish with years to go, isn’t it? Sometimes I wonder what am I becoming..this society and world is already very bad, and this transformation could only make it a little worse than before. When can I find myself?

Anyway, I’m waiting for Desy to come over Lucky Plaza. The reason why I started my entry like this was cos yesterday she told me to call her once I’m off work, but I could only remember I told her to meet at 7 or 7:30pm. Something’s wrong with me, don’t you think so?

I’ve been talking to my new fren these days and she’s really a nice lady to chat with. I couldn’t believe some of the topics which we touched on...and I tink sooner or later the level might be close or equal to that of what I last touched on in the old days with Rosanne. Come of which, I think I’ve never mentioned Rosanne (Rose) in my blog before. Rose is my online friend in USA, Seattle. I got to know her during my Poly days when the online text-based game Archmage was rather popular. She was a player in it and not knowing the ropes, I taught her the ways to go playing the game. The rest is history; we got to chat in email and conversed on phone freely through a lot of topics. The cultural differences only made the bond more interesting as we constantly ask new things to find out about each other. Come to think, good things don’t last long.

Today I got stuck in QR site the whole day cos of those stupid new tapes which of cos after some deductions I felt wasn’t the cause of the jamming of the tape drive – I believe the tape drive is faulty.

Desy actually asked me out on Saturday to chiong – certainly something that’s so out of the blue. Later I found out it has to do with the new guy she likes cos the guy chiongs. Oh man..I really do not have much to say about that. Asked her why this time round she switched target, thought it was another and guessed what she replied? “Like father like daughter ma!!” – OMG. This is so mean of her.

Tried to get my new fren out but she is tied up with her dad’s birthday so I have not much to say about that, adding on the fact she’s more or less married and under her husband’s say that she won’t be chionging cos something happened last time while she was chionging that she got “banned”. LOL…how bad can that get?

I got my shades out and tried wearing them on and walking about. Oh man it’s certainly not what I term as comfortable, but at least I’m not awkward I guess. It’s a good addition to the limited amount of accessories that I have in my possession…wait, what kind of accessories do I actually have? =) lol.

She’ll probably be here in around ten minutes’ time, so my entry is coming to an end. Well, I’ve told really a little too much about myself to someone whom I’ve known for only a few days – something which always happen so long I’m comfortable with someone. Come of which, Desy has arrived.

See ya pple =)

Middle of the week

[CuRRent MooD:] Worried, thinking, wondering

[CuRRent Song:] Madonna - Hung Up

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Laksa + Teh Peng

Wonder where Sunshine went to. Tried calling her so many times, but on one occasion she just hung up on me. Now I dun even have much mood to take my "supper". On the same hand, also not much mood to play SG as well.

Been a long time since I've bumped onto someone who can pretty much chat up with me, this person that I've just known happens to be someone new in GSK. She's from HR and just a few months younger than me, and preparing for marriage. -.- that's stressful. If you happen to see a new face in my Friendster, that's her.

I'm so terribly broke right now, I wonder how am I to survive. Add on the fact my godsis wants me to return her money in full, I'm doing the calculations now and am not optimistic...not to mention I'm getting 2 techno CDs and a Para Para DVD imported in. The discs in total would probably cost me ard $100 and thinking of the extra $500 I had to return her, that's $600 gone from pay. Add on my dumb bills which amount to ard $200 including my savings' plan, I also have to cater ard $100 of transport, $50 to cashcard for meals in GSK...you get the plan. It's going to be a tough month before govt decides to give us money. Oh yea...not to mention I have to return my parents money owed, and also monthly allowance to them which totals about $200 or more. I'm left with almost nothing -.-...

How am I to survive April......and I'm getting a fridge for the family probably in May.

I wonder why am I the one to be doing all these. You might say "I can choose NOT to buy the CDs"...yeah, I can. What's life if you can't get the little things that you want?

Endure. I really have to endure all these shit.

I really, really, really really x 1,000,000 hope "that guy" in my family finally bucks up and do something. There is this limitation I can endure, that I can stand, that I can sustain. Don't make me burst.

That's the reason why I think I wanna find what I want, but seemingly I can't have it.

That's life.

.LuKe.

Never-ending thoughts.

[CuRRent MooD:] Always mind-boggling. Always puzzled. Always...uncertain.

[CuRRent Song:] E-Type - Rain

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Sichuan Vege + Yong Tau Foo Soup + Rice & Pokka Green Tea

I should be satisfied.

But why ain't I?

I have yet to find my inner peace.

.LuKe.

My short update

[CuRRent MooD:] Fine

[CuRRent Song:] 2 Alive - Tell It To My Heart

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] LJS

Now waiting for Sunshine..hehe…yeah…

Not much things for me to update..work is busy as usual, with all those stupid servers on and off…also very sian to say the least…like always ready to fight wif fire like dat…hehe…now I so pai kuan in LJS blogging…I think the crowd is coming in so I wun be using for too long…furthermore not to say that Sunshine will be coming in about 15 mins time..

Back to the weekend, I went MU on Saturday and saw the new lightings. I would say it brought a different effect and ambience to MU. Last time MU is pretty dark and that you can’t see too much faces – but now it’s so bright with the new lightings on the stage that shines upwards – people can even dance on it. The stage is instantly lit up and from it you can really tell how much dry ice MU emits per night by looking at the stage from a distance. It gets so smoky sometimes you can’t differentiate the stage from the floor (that is, if you are on stage attempting to go down). With the new toys, you can really tell who’s good on stage and who’s not (that is, me).

SG-wise, I’m about lvl 20 post-reinc. So far I’m ok with 12 units though it gets a little hard to manage at times. With 6 extra units at my disposal, it gets funny sometimes on how I wanna use them. Dun get what I said? Go get SG and try it out.

I’m harbouring the thought of version 6.0 for my blog. Didn’t you guys get sick of seeing my dark red skin? I got bored of it. Need something brighter. :)

See ya.

.LuKe.

Divine Protection

[CuRRent MooD:] Figuring Mood

[CuRRent Song:] Magic D - Someday (Original Radio Edit)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Rice + Steamed Fish

Weird title eh? This thing has been revolving around my mind for an extreme amount of time, but most notably these few years. I did notice that whatever I do, whatever I plan and think is often been prejudged or negated by some "higher being" up there.

I'm far from a good guy, so I do harbour evil intentions at times. This is an interesting thought though, that every time I do plan carefully and with purpose, somehow something will happen that will spoil the entire plan or cripple it so there is no way I can proceed even with contingency plans. If this ain't divine intervention, I wonder what it is. It happened WAY too much times.

Either He has been protecting me from harm, or that He is preventing others from being harmed, that He chose to stop all similar processes. It could be that whatever I do may cause myself harm in the long run that was stopped, or that it could cause more damage to others so it got interrupted. Whatever it is, it is certainly weird.

Coming to another point, when will this Protection actually end? I start to speculate, and my first deduction will be when my family gets properly taken care of (actually I'm referring to the "worse" sense, but I'm not spelling it out here). Once they are being taken care of, there is nothing left for me to fend for, to worry for, and therefore I'm left by myself to account for and I do not require to repay debts, thus leaving me to be exposed to the very deep evils of the world. Other than this speculation, I cannot find another probable date that the Protection will cease. Call it an imaginary view, but that's me - living in my dream world.

Point of note: Divine Protection actually makes an exception if a great deal of lessons are to be learnt from an escapade. I can't really remember if this happened more than once (what I mean is I made plans for something to happen and it actually happens), but I do recall the single one in Shan's incident.

... Scanning Memories ...

... Stopping Scan ...

I really can't think of anything else that was sinisterly planned and succeeded.

Let's see if Divine Protection works on my next "evil plan".

.LuKe.

Disclaimer: I'm only ranting and expressing my thoughts. I hope I won't receive any form of preaching.

Tomorrow is a Tuesday

[CuRRent MooD:] Mixed: It's neutral, confused, bothered, pondering etc.

[CuRRent Song:] 2 Alive - Tell It To My Heart

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Laksa + Teh Peng

Actually by now I don't have much to blog, not that nothing interesting or what came my way but...somehow it just made me lose the feeling to blog.

Wonder what happened to me. Work? Probably.

.LuKe.

Midweek Wednesday

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral

[CuRRent Song:] Nuage - You'll Never Stop Me Lovin' You

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Laksa and Green Tea

Kinda unusual for me to be blogging midweek nowadays. Gonna continue my dotter's work later, hopefully I can finish basically for her to submit.

Birthday coming soon...ten days later =) so anyone wanna give me presents but have not got an idea? Hehe I've bought myself an iPod Nano, so if you really have no idea, I give you very good choice la...give me $$$ lor...hahaha~...

I'm already planning for my weekend, though this week isn't that too easy a week either - gonna rush some stuff at work before I can bring it to a close. There's something to do every week, I wonder when things will come to a point "I'm used to it"...when?

I gonna plan properly this time, inviting only a few drinking friends of mine. I'll see who else I can get. All in all, just a chillout. There are already a few people in mind that I'm not going to invite...some things in life have to change, and I have to make more decisions to tune myself down now. I better not give myself more trouble as the years go by.

Till then, happy birthday to myself...

.LuKe.

HmMm

[CuRRent MooD:] Neutral, up and down

[CuRRent Song:] Deep Spirit - You're The One That I Want (Bass Up! Remix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Mushroom Swiss Meal

Nowadays my thoughts are contradicting like much never before. Drains my energy really.

Oh well, another time. LOL.

.LuKe.

Come to think...(hehe)...

[CuRRent MooD:] Normal, "sian"

[CuRRent Song:] 2 Alive - Tell It To My Heart

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] MacNugget Meal (Coke for drink)

Hmmm...this edit box looks different. Is it the IE for my notebook or did Blogger change it? Anyway...tomorrow is my IPPT!!! Confirm die until no place to bury...unless hor as what I told my colleague...that instructor is fren fren den 3 pull-up can say till 6 pull-ups den I nothing to say...but where got so heng rite in life...I know my life quite blessed already but...lol

Life in GSK is rather busy but fruitful, since I've been learning a lot of things technically and also in documentation. Lily (my mentor?) has helped a lot and though she can be a lil naggy at times (a mother of kids ard my age, what to do?), she has tried a lot in guiding us along. Through her I knew about how so much documentation can be troublesome yet good in the long run since it proves as a good tool to track as well as to protect our own asses :).

It has been over a week I've last blogged, but when you see me blog, it probably means that I have so much spare time in my hands. No not really, just that I'm procrastinating at doing my normal stuff like sleep (actually I slept earlier) and doing mopping for my house. Today I went GMP to sign my updated contract at GSK. When I saw the contract, I couldn't believe my eyes. Not what I expected, so I had Jacee, Nicole (I think) as well as their assistant recruitment manager to help me "appeal" for a better pay. I got a response saying HP will review my progress in the next 3 months. DAMNIT I GONNA WAIT FOR ANOTHER FUCKING 3 MONTHS??? THIS SUCKS!!! Now I realised my jie (Alynna) is damn right to have asked for my Resume...but never mind, since it's in my personal policy to stay in a job at least half a year, I will try to sustain till then. At least they give me extra $200 for transport allowance.

I will be getting myself an iPod Nano as a birthday present for myself on coming pay day. Wait wait wait...birthday? Got the hint? No...then you better read my entry 100 times more and drill it into your head. As for my plans to "wire up" (actually technically it's "wire-less up") and get a notebook, I have to review on my expenditure as well as whether my pathetic pay will allow me to sustain installment plan + interest incurred. Sunshine told me it's not necessary yet for me to get a notebook, that I understand...but then sometimes I see my computer giving me glitches, I wonder what should be my next step really. If I were to get a second PC and wire-less up, I might as well get a notebook, got my point? PC is much cheaper but if you look at the setup of my home, where do I put a second PC? Sunshine suggested me to save up patiently and purchase the notebook directly...that is also an idea, but then I still need to return money to Berlinda, and also for those who knows me well...God, I can't save!!! Anyway another reason I wanted to get a second set is for me to play game...UFO: Aftershock needed at least FX5800 standards...omg my graphics card is only 5700...the notebook I'm targetting has Radeon X1400...way so powerful! My only concern is that raw CPU speed will be outclassed by PCs easily, after all it's running on a Centrino 1.8GHz (but I may go on full investment to probably pump it 2GB RAM, since it comes with 1GB).

About me and Sunshine...there has been...issues. I really think it's my fault all the time, but after reviewing what has been happening, I've finally noticed the thing missing between us: the "spark". I've noticed in much of my relationships last time there is a "fire" or probably "sparks" but this time round...the heat is not really so strong. It's not really her fault since she has her own obligations and stuff, and so have I...but somehow things have not gone the way I intended to be. I've noticed yet another matter - the attention "they" get from people of the opposite sex. "They" referred to my interests, my past GFs...maybe even talking about my current one. I noticed I can probably stand against normal competition while pursuing the girl, but once I'm with her, I probably turn half a blind eye when it comes to my GF having male company. This policy is there because I certainly wouldn't like my GF to scream at me for every girl that I go out with (on considering I have quite a number of Godsisters and one or two close female frens). I refer this matter to current situation as I understand Sunshine having quite some male company around her. While I don't get myself jealous over those guys once she's my GF (come on, I respect and trust her), but I noticed I tend to become overly "bo hue" and things really start to happen. Want to go out with them, go out lor...I also nothing to say. I hear you say got plans with them, well it's ok, go with them. Yes, I have priority over them, but I never like to break plans just as well I do not want my GF to break any plans that I might've arranged with my frens. Sometimes I also need my GF to be proactive and wanting to go out with me, arranging outings with me. That sounds pretty stupid as many might think the guy should be the one arranging it, but come on...not everything is "standard" in my eyes. I believe most females who arranged a meetup with me would've noticed I can attend most of them, this of course applies to my GF.

I add on the abovementioned with comparison to Shan. Shan was an "automatic" girl - once she's with me, she really tend to tune out with other guys. Yes, I know guys do try to ask her out, but most of the time she prefers to spend time with me and thus the other guys really don't have much time to spend with her.

What I've just said is an unfair comparison to my personal standards. See, I don't expect my GF to have no guy frens once she's with me, but I guess she must adjust a lil and see to my needs. And yeah, unfortunately I have so much needs (and wants). Once I see that my GF actually does something significant, I will notice much of the time (and if I don't, probably we'll have to thrash it out) and do appropriate adjustments.

Ok I better go out of topic. Yesterday night I gave Linda face and went MU. Saw my bro, Andy, their friends and...wait, Ying²? OMG I almost couldn't recognise her. After hanging there for a while, I got real bored and dialled my dad's number and got myself the journey home.

Today's conclusion - I am such a selfish idiot (I think it should be conclusion of the year(s)).

.LuKe.

Dum di dum dum di di dum

[CuRRent MooD:] Tired, fine

[CuRRent Song:] Neo Cortex - Elements 2004 (Club Mix)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] Yu Sheng

Gosh, I am so tired right now. It’s Sunday and a good day today cos I have lotsa paternal relatives in my house right now. It’s just a part of CNY that I quite look forward to though it does bring a busy part of me along cos of all the preparations required.

This year’s gathering has a little more commotion cos apart from the usual relatives, I have my 3rd aunt’s second daughter (with her daughter as well) and my 1st aunt’s daughter-in-law with her son too. Of cos, Joanna (3rd aunt’s youngest daughter) here with me, and also my 3rd uncle’s youngest daughter as well. You must be wondering – why all females? Well, probably sons won’t be too bothered to tag parents along with visiting…that is, with me as an exception. Just went away for a moment to “lao yu sheng” to bring wealth and health to all, it’s just a tradition that we Chinese follow along the New Year.

The first people who came along was my 3rd aunt along with Joanna and…(what’s her name)…is it Janice or something? Haha..really can’t remember that much..but I know all 3 sisters had names start with J. There ain’t much for me to entertain Joanna as her sister is here unless the previous year, so I have pretty much time for me to do random stuff and to rest a little. The rest came along rather quickly with 2nd uncle being the latest to arrive. We just proceed with the tradition and small chat would be heard. Surprisingly, my brother did not disappear this year upon their arrival.

Yesterday I went out with Sunshine to see the fireworks over at Esplanade. Took some pics as well, I was late upon meeting up wif her and took me a bit for me to make her smile. Sorry dear :p the rest is just normal stuff, walking here and there, went to Bugis and Sim Lim Square and took a look at Linksys Routers…saw some games and spotted Aftershock, the sequel to Aftermath (UFO series). To think their requirements went beyond my expectations – it required an FX5700 as a bare minimum while I only have an FX5500! Talking about technological advancements…

(Update) Just got to know from Joanna that her second sister is Joan(ne?) and her eldest sister is Joyce. LOL.

I am so tired. Haha.

Come to think, Joanne’s daughter is cute while my eldest aunt’s grandson looked much like her son.

Shimin (3rd uncle’s daughter) is a lil weird. Haha.

I’ll just end here. Nothing too much of mention.

.LuKe.

Another super entry

[CuRRent MooD:] Confused

[CuRRent Song:] Dave Rodgers - Let's Go To The Show (K2 The AutoMesse)

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] N.A.

Written on Friday, 10th Feb.

Haha, another blog entry outside my home as I brought my notebook outside my company and moving about. Right now I’m on my way to hotspot..haha as usual on a Friday right? I wonder what is “as usual” btw.

In front of me is a couple, an NHSS couple. LOL maybe ain’t couple yet but can tell they are pretty close I guess. It always makes me pay a bit more attention if the other party comes from my Alma Mater. Oh, jus spotted the guy trying to tilt his head on the gal’s shoulder…accident, maybe?

OMG, stop that snooping business Luke. What business is it of yours to be checking out other people’s private matters…do you like some other people to be looking at you while you are enjoying your day out with your gf?

Hmmm. Darn I’m talking to myself.

Work was busy this week, and today is a relief compared to the rest of the week. This job made me tougher I guess, and certainly made me learn so much more. I feel so much more enriched while I’m in this current project of mine.

I’ve thought of a few new stupid stuff to do, like setting up a webbie, a system, whatever…just another stupid random 3-minute heat kinda matter. Wanna have some online system that can let people order food online and have it catered to their homes…like Pizza Hut “zi-cha” style. I thought of it as I went Candy’s (my colleague) place to set up the wireless network and she ordered “zi-cha” from the coffeeshop though phone…and they bring it up for you once your order exceeds 8 bucks! I think it is a possible industry to work on, after all, who doesn’t need to eat?

Yeah hug and hug…oh no there goes myself glancing at another couple hugging each other at the doorstep of the train. So what’s going on with me? I think I have a screw loose or something. And the guy…oh my, dunno look a bit like those butch kind…but I firmly believe is still a guy la.

Gonna sleep my notebook for a while I guess…cos reaching Raffles Place and need to change to North-South line. Ok BRB.

Now eating KFC and blogging, how power can I get? Haha BRB.

Back after eating KFC. Think I will be down MU for a while later, finish up the Chivas from last week. Yes, I know part of it belongs to Linda but I couldn’t care less at all. Bad of me? Maybe.

So what’s up for Valentine’s Day? Frankly speaking I’ve not felt so much of a loss since God knows when…for the past years I’ve not been really celebrating V-Day, so a lot of my ideas would’ve dried up. Sometimes I wonder what happened to me…I used to be so full of ideas, so anticipative of this special day of the year…but look what happened to me.

Somehow, I felt desensitised. I dunno why that’s the case, but certainly I can feel it.

Sunshine and I had a fair share of arguments, but it seems we’ve never quarrelled before. Is that a good thing? Nowadays I do not know what I want…or maybe I know what I want, only that……

What? I guess only I myself knows what I am about. A lot of times it’s not that I do not understand myself, but instead I do know a great deal about myself…perhaps a bit too much at times that I chose to avoid looking at myself with that kind of light. Currently living a life of contradiction, I really am finding a true self that I seek. Sometimes I really wish I can go back ten years in time when so much is still in true nature, when things are still slow and the mind is rather clear but unachieving.

A KFC crew caught a cold.

I’m digressing.

A babe with a cool-looking guy.

I’m so out of topic really.

Looking outside, just what’s on with me? People going up the escalator, moving towards their destination. Shouldn’t I just follow them and move out of my current status, leaving only a carcass of my life? Noise just left me, moving towards the direction which they so please.

I see my life go past me. I see life in the eyes of mine. If I can assume the very image which people thought of what I am, I think that will be brilliant. Wait, ain’t that part of my past – living for others, in the eyes of others? Perhaps…those times are so much more peaceful, thinking about others and not about myself.

Come to realise that I’ve grown so much more selfish. I care only for myself much more than what I am years ago. When have I learnt to be like this?

An average cute-looking girl walks along with her boyfriend, sitting down at a corner of the restaurant. Look blissful. She’s smiling, cos her guy cares so much about her.

I felt so tired all of a sudden. Physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally desensitised. Lustfully unmatched, unsatisfied.

Yes, you did not see that wrongly, that’s just a side of me that much people either do not know or not care about it at all.

Some time back, I wrote “Love’s not the game for me”, a song that I’ve not conjured the exact tune yet. Masterfully done, Love’s really not the game for me because Love played me out.

Another female reside the table next to mine. Let me anticipate that a guy will come along with food and perhaps a smile. She is SMSing right now.

As you see, I’m doing a lot of irritating things like getting out of topic and losing focus. Truth is, I chose to do so. I guess this will be a spacy and probably lengthy entry, but what do you expect of someone who have not blogged a week, or probably only do so once a week nowadays? I guess I’ll do complaining and ranting this much, so much. Hahaha.

I wanted to stretch my arms but now I can’t cos of the lady’s existence. Talk about restrictions. Speaking of that, my past has a lot of restrictions, I limit myself a lot so I won’t go out of hand…but it seems life has progressed so much that those restrictions gave way and my life went really out of hand compared to the old times.

I shall stop here. I shall write down the lyrics of Siria’s I Will Believe It.

I Will Believe It by Siria

(I will believe it)
(I will believe it)

It’s over boy
Everyone can tell
No need to hide it from your friends
It’s sad but it’s true
You got yourself to blame
And you will never understand

Don’t try to talk me into it again

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise this is goodbye

This is goodbye

Let’s face it boy
It wasn’t meant to be
You and me, don’t you understand?

Don’t try to talk me into it again

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it when I receive the love
That makes me feel alive

I will believe it when I see it
With my own eyes, no more lies
I will believe it but I can feel your love
So now I realise this is goodbye

Last note: life really twists right in front of me, unlike my expectations. In the end, the gal went to buy KFC with the guy just joining the table as she was buying food. She came back the table with the food, and that’s it. I felt a wall between them – is it they ain’t a couple, or they were a couple? The girl sits in defensive, but could tell she is paying attention to the guy. The guy is in open position, so it seems he has confidence in the situation.

This girl just needs the love she wants. Lord, let her have it. :)

.LuKe.

Long time no update

[CuRRent MooD:] Average

[CuRRent Song:] Nothing

[Last FooD/BeveRage:] None

3rd Feb 2006

Oh well, here I am waiting for Linda. Sometimes this life of mine is too uncertain and bothersome to be called peaceful. Now, who even mention that it is peaceful? This world ain’t even peaceful right from the beginning.

Tomorrow I’m going out wif Sunshine to watch a movie, probably “Fun with Dick and Jane” by Jim Carrey. I’m sure it’s going to be a lame show but what gives anyway.

Just now “Half Pig” wanted me to support her at her workplace but I’m not really too much into it so I rejected her. Sometimes I think I’m being too realistic, and sometimes being not. I think I always do the wrong things at the right times, hahaha…that sounds real silly, isn’t it?

Now waiting outside MU, bumped onto a regular who I got to know from Serene (MU). Oh well I’m not going to stay in here for too long since I’m expecting people to be coming to my place tomorrow.

Actually I think I’m trying to write as much as I can, but I guess I’m trying too hard.

It’s Chinese New Year period, the air is average to say the least. Collection is average, but I guess some points to note maybe, is about how people have grown through the years. Looking at my cousins, to say the least, is something I enjoy doing in the recent years. Of course, that means making a personal statement or judgment whether they like it or not…not to degrade anyone, since I’m ain’t that good a person as well.

While I was on the way off work to Boon Lay, I was smsing Joanna, my paternal 3rd Aunt’s youngest daughter. Sorta glad she kinda wants to see me ard every CNY, I guess that’s kinda cool, don’t you think so?

Linda’s taking a bit long. DUH.

Looking at myself, I think I’m not worth so much luck or fortune that God bestowed unto me. Maybe the only reason why He decides to give so much to me is due to my parents – I’m supposed to take care of them till they are gone. Ehm…dai gai lai si, it’s too early to say such things and furthermore CNY, I tink I really looking for trouble leh…hahaha…

Just saw a mother and her daughter. Wow. The daughter really dressed up to look older, but anyone can tell she’s younger.

What do I want in life? I realised I got what I wanted simply because I did not pursue it too persistently. No way back though – there seems no way to recover that kind of feeling to not have what I want. Throughout these years I’ve became more selfish, or maybe my selfishness surfaced from my depths. I’m really drawing the thin line between selfishness and selflessness, but I think I’m at the former right now, and probably for a long time down the road of my life.

Ok Linda is here. Ja’ne.

4th Feb 2006

Ytd at MU saw someone who look so much like Jeannie (Chocobits). Her name is Ivy and she's Angeline's friend. Haha.

Now nothing much to update, only some pple came my place. Aiya, stomachache. See ya.

.LuKe.